Scandalously Extravagant

As many of you know, I enjoy running.  I actually enjoy it.  I mean, sometimes it’s horrible and torturous, but for the most part, I like it.  Even when it’s difficult, actually.  When I have a bad run, I tend to get motivated to do better.  It’s weird.  I know.  But I like it.

Over the past several years, I have run several half-marathons.  So, in case you don’t know, a marathon is 26.2 miles, which makes a half marathon 13.1 miles.

Every time I have finished a half marathon, I have been so exhausted that I was very grateful that I didn’t sign up to run the whole thing, because I couldn’t imagine the type of pain and exhaustion that doing what I did TWICE is like.

But a little over a year ago, I put my mind to doing the training for a full marathon.  I created a schedule.  I mustered up a ton of internal discipline, and I started training for this big event.

The thing about marathon training is that it’s not just an endurance race.  Race day is only part of the marathon.  It’s only the LAST 26.2 miles.  There are a LOT of miles run before that day.  And that’s the hardest part.

So I started training.  I started running.  And I was doing really well.  And I was SO proud of myself.

The pain that I started to experience in my hip wasn’t really pain at first.  It was just, sort of annoying.  And it hurt the worst in the first part of my runs, but it diminished a lot by the end.  So I convinced myself that it was just tired, but that warming it up was good and important and all that was needed.

After a couple of weeks, I started to realize that this pain was actually more than just tired muscles.  But I wanted to be “hardcore,” and I wanted to do the race, so I decided to “run through the pain.”

I remember one run in particular.  I parked my car at the church, actually.  There is a trail right behind the church, and I was planning on running on the trail that day.  I started running, and the pain was incredible.  I couldn’t believe how much it hurt.  Now, the logical thing to do would have been to stop running, go home, ice it, take some Ibuprofen, and rest.  But there’s nothing logical about the decision to run 26.2 miles.  Not really.  And I didn’t go home.  I was afraid that taking a day off would hurt my momentum that I had been building.  And so, I ran.  Nine miles.  In pain.

It was that day when the pain became constant.  It was THAT run that did me in.  The pain wouldn’t go away.  It didn’t get better after I got warmed up.  I didn’t get better when I got done.

My calendar told me to run the next day.  And I did.  And it hurt.

I kept running, even though I KNEW that I needed rest.  I KNEW that I needed to do more cross-training, more stretching, and maybe, even for just a little while, a little less running.

But pride…stupid pride…told me that I couldn’t take a break.  Because taking a break was equivalent to quitting.  So I didn’t.  Until the pain got to be so bad that I could barely walk.  It hurt all the time.  It hurt terribly.  I got X-Rays, which told me nothing.  I knew there was no skeletal injury.   Eventually, I had to quit.  I thought that the damage might be permanent, because of how bad it was.  And it made me really really sad.

Rest.

Doesn’t rest seem like a luxury?  

Doesn’t rest seem scandalous?

We are all under a TON of pressure.  You might have pressure from teachers, colleges, and parents to get good grades and be good students.  You have pressure from your parents to be responsible and active participants in family events and life.  You have pressure from your bosses to work according to their schedules and their needs.  You have pressure from your friends to respond to their text messages quickly and enthusiastically.   To hang out and spend quality time together.  You have pressure you’re your coaches, music directors, etc. to show up to practice, to make it a priority, and to give 100%.  You have pressure from Richard, the Core Team and me, to attend Life Teen and to give your time to serve other teens in this community.  And this list here is only a small list of all of the ways you are pressured on a regular basis.

And so, with all of these pressures, it makes total sense that the first thing to go is rest.  Sleep.  Because the only thing pressuring you to sleep is your body.  And the only thing pressuring you to rest is your mind.  It’s EASIEST to let yourself down than it is to let someone else down.  Self-care is seen as selfish.  And so, you sacrifice to make sure that all of those things that are pressuring you, all those PEOPLE who are pressuring you to give your time and energy are content.

And yet, they never seem to be.  No matter how much time and energy you give, there will always be a demand for your time.  And energy.

Our culture loves busy-ness so much.  It’s almost a status symbol to be as busy as possible.  We practically glorify those who get too little sleep.

But, rest is important.  God actually thinks it’s so important that He designated an entire day for us to rest.   And when we don’t rest, our bodies get injured, or sick, and our bodies MAKE us take breaks.

See, it’s easy to say that our bodies are just our bodies, and that they can take a lack of sleep and rest, but it’s not that simple.  We are not just bodies.  And we are not just souls.  Pope Saint John Paul II said that we are body-souls.  Don’t think for a second that the way you treat your body doesn’t affect your soul.  Of course it does!  It has to!

For me, when I am especially exhausted, I have a really difficult time praying.  And it doesn’t just have to be physical exhaustion.  In the last four months since my dad died, I have to admit that the most accurate word that I have to describe my grieving process is that I’ve just been tired.  Physically.  Emotionally.  Mentally.  And yes, spiritually.  It’s not necessarily because of a lack of sleep.  It’s because of a lack of rest.  I feel like that's the only thing on my mind.  It's all I want to talk about.  And it's exhausting to not.  I feel guilty when people like my volunteers complain that they didn't get their Christmas party this year, or their big planning meeting that was supposed to take place during the time when I was dealing with his death.  And that guilt makes me...guess what?  Tired!  I experience it mostly as a lack of spiritual rest.  When we don’t allow our souls to rest with God, we get exhausted.  Rest is always healing.  Restorative.  And we need that in all aspects of our lives.

That’s not to say that work is inherently bad or evil.  Work and rest don’t have to oppose each other necessarily.  And laziness and rest don’t have to be interchangeable, either.  God tells us to rest, not to be lazy.  In fact, laziness, or SLOTH, is one of the seven deadly sins!  He doesn’t tell us to give up work.  Certain kinds of work can be really restful.  For me, actually, (when I’m not over-doing it), running is a restful activity.  It works my body, but it rests my mind.  And it rests my soul.  Especially when I see something beautiful or good on my run.  I love when I run at sunset or sunrise, because it’s lovely.  I love when I run on 80th over the bridge that goes over highway 36, because I get an amazing view of the mountains when I’m going west, and of Denver when I’m going east.  And I always use that time to let my soul be renewed.

Several years ago, when I was working on getting my certificate in youth ministry, we started the day in prayer, and the instructor gave us the direction to ask God to show us how He sees us.  So I did this, and I say very clearly a daisy, which is my favorite flower.  At first, I thought that it was just because daisies are my favorite, and because God was telling me that I am His favorite (just like all of His kids are His favorites).  But the longer I looked at this flower, the more I realized that God loves me for the same reason that I love that flower.  See, a daisy doesn’t DO anything for me.  It doesn’t keep me company when I’m lonely.  It doesn’t give me money when I need or want something.  It doesn’t make me laugh with its sense of humor.  All it does is…it BE’s.  It "be’s "itself, exactly as God created it.  And I think that it’s beautiful.  And it makes me happy.

God doesn’t love me because of what I do.  He can’t love me anymore if I am good, or any less if I am bad, because He IS love itself.  He loves me because I am me.  I am who He created me to be.  I am a red-head.  I like Disney movies.  I like country music.  He loves me…because He created me the way that I am.  And there’s nothing I can do to change that.

When I learned this, I felt so much freedom.  I felt FREE to rest with Him, because I felt like it was ok that I can’t do it all.  I don’t have to.  And it’s very healing.

Rest is scandalous, because busy-ness is the mark of an important person…to other people.  Rest is extravagant.  We spend great amounts of time working and saving money to take a vacation just so we can rest.  We wear ourselves out just so we can rest.  We think of rich people as people who rest.  Retired people rest.

But God says that rest is blessed.  We are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS.  And it’s ok to BE with God.  And we are all called to rest.  It’s good for the body.  For the mind.  AND for the soul.

Sit in silence sometime.  Clear your mind.  It's not as easy to do as it seems like it should be.  But ask God to help you.  Let Him restore your soul.  Maybe you'll have to give something up in order to make that happen.  That's ok.  Trust that He'll take care of that. 

Here's a link to an interesting blog post.  Not at all spiritual, but still helpful:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/guy-kawasaki/lets-stop-the-glorification-of-busy_b_5018712.html

Beauty and the Beast - a Defense

I've written a lot of really serious posts lately, so it's about time to lighten up a bit.  So here's a topic that is near and dear to me, but many might find silly, immature and/or unworthy of their time.  Maybe it is.  But it's something that I NEED to get off my chest.

Beauty and the Beast is one of my favorite movies, and all the feminists out there who think that there are problems with that, well, so be it.  But their reasoning is wrong.  Just...wrong.

I am going to write this with the assumption that you have seen the Disney version of this movie, and that you are familiar with the basic plot and characters.

Ok, first, I am going to look past the obvious faults with the movie, that the Prince was only 11 years old, with no parents, in a big castle, all alone when this spell happened.  Although, to be fair, the whole "stranger danger" thing doesn't really hold when you live in a castle full of people who can look out for you.  He could have put her up in a different part of the castle, sent a guard to keep an eye on her, and send her away when it wasn't "bitter cold" out.  I am going to ignore the fact that the kingdom that he was supposedly in charge of didn't ever know what happened, nor did they bother to find out.  He was obviously in a dysfunctional kingdom.  I am going to ignore the fact that Belle's parents were not really in the picture.  Her mom was...dead?  Her dad was eccentric to the point that he was irrelevant.  Ineffective.  I am going to ignore the fact that Belle fell in love with a literal beast.

In college, I actually paid to take a class called "Disney's Women and Girls."  Thank you, CU Boulder, for my fine education.  It was a Women's Study's course, which, I just don't believe in.  But, I LOVE Disney, and since we got to watch a Disney movie DURING class every week, I thought that the class might actually be fun.  Little did I know how irritated I would become in this class.  I think that Disney is not the evil corporation that everyone thinks it is.

One thing that my class discussed was that Beauty and the Beast is a bad movie for girls because it, apparently, teaches young girls that, if they stay in abusive relationships long enough, and are nice enough, then the man will just change.  Poof.  Just because she is nice.

Now, I don't know if I saw a completely different movie than everyone else in the world, but when was Belle NICE to the Beast?  At what point?  Because, early on, the first night in the castle, he asks her to dinner.  A "nice" response would be to say, "ok, yes, of course, whatever you say."  But she did not.  She said no.  And she stood by her no.  She only started being nice to the Beast when he saved her life.  It was when she was about to be attacked by the wolves after she ran away, and he chased her down, fought the wolves himself, got injured, and she helped him get back to the castle and took care of his wounds.  That was the first time when she was "nice" to him.  After he earned that right.

AND EVEN THEN!!!...she STILL defended herself.  He lost his temper and growled at her, and she got in an argument with him, and she finally told him that he has to control his temper.  She totally won that argument.  Would a "nice" girl?  No!  A "nice" girl would just let him talk to her however he wanted, and she wouldn't defend herself or stand up for herself.  She wouldn't be willing to put herself out there and say what needs to change.  But, she was finally nice when she thanked him, very sincerely, for saving her life.

So did that change him?  She was nice, and POOF!  He was nice?  Nope!  Let me ask you, why do you think he wanted to fall in love?  He fell in love because he wanted to break the spell.  He changed because he knew that, in order for her to fall in love with him, he'd have to do things differently.  And so he made those changes to help, not only him, but people he truly did care about.  Lumiere, Mrs. Potts, Cogsworth...we see how these characters are important to him throughout the whole movie.  These are the people he goes to for advice.   And they coach him.  They teach him how he needs to change.  From superficial things to more meaningful things, they give him well rounded advice for winning her heart.

From IMDB...

Beast: Oh, it's no use. She's so beautiful, and I'm... Well, look at me!
Mrs. Potts: Oh, must help her to see past all that.
Beast: I don't know how.
Mrs. Potts: Well, you can start by making yourself more presentable. Straighten up. Try to act like a gentleman.
[Beast stands up straighter]
Lumiere: Ah, yes. When she comes in give her a dashing, debonair smile. Come, come, show me the smile.
[Beast gives a big, forced smile]
Mrs. Potts: But don't frighten the poor girl!

Lumiere: Impress her with your rapier wit.
Mrs. Potts: But be gentle.
Lumiere: Shower her with compliments.
Mrs. Potts: But be sincere.
Lumiere: And above all...
Mrs. Potts, Lumiere: You must control your temper!

I mean, you don't get much more varied advice on love than you do from asking Mrs. Potts and Lumiere!  Talk about opposing!  But, they don't oppose each other!  They balance each other.  Actually, it's more like they complete each other.   Compliment each other?  I think, in a unique way, they do all of those things!

He even gets love advice from Cogsworth.  He seeks help from anybody who will give it.   Granted, Cogsworth's advice is not great, or even good.  But, at this point, the Beast has learned a thing or two, and he knows exactly what to give Belle, a library.  And she loves it, of course!  It's fits her personality, her likes, her passions, perfectly.  He gave her something that only one who truly knows and loves another can give...he paid attention.

There is a great line from the musical version of Beauty and the Beast, that speaks so clearly about the beast.  The words say,

No beauty could move me
No goodness improve me
No power on earth, if I can't love her
No passion could reach me
No lesson could teach me
How I could have love her and made her love me too
If I can't love her, then who?

Think about that.  He recognizes that this is his only shot.  He has a chance here and now for love, but he despairs, because it's not just enough for one to fall in love with the other, they have to fall in love with each other.  Belle is a very good person.  She is beautiful, kind, loving, passionate, intelligent, and...I mean...she has such a capacity to love that she was willing to give up her freedom for someone she loves.  The Beast knows that if he can't fall in love with someone as good as she, well then there is no hope for him at all.  He has to truly love.  It has to be pure.  And, as we see, it is. He lets her go right when the spell would be broken.  As far as he was concerned, her leaving - EVEN IF SHE WAS PLANNING ON RETURNING - would be too late.  It would doom him and all of his friends, probably some family (even if "distant" family).  They were all counting on this, the pressure was on, and he let her go.  He set her free.  But he did not know that true love comes only when the person is free to love.  Free to leave.  Free to say yes.  Free to say no.  Until then, she had been his prisoner.  Once he set her free, only then could she truly love.

I believe, whole heartedly, that this movie, this story, this show, is great.  I love it.  I have spent a lot of time thinking about these things.  IS that bad though?  IS it a waste of my time?  To be fair, you can make anything have a bad message if you want.  People are out to villianize Disney.  Granted, there are some blatantly racist things in some of their earlier movies.  But, for the most part, Disney has good messages, good lessons to teach our kids.  We just have to take the time to talk to them, to help them with their critical thinking, to teach them the Truth.  They will eventually grow lenses to find it for themselves. 

It Moves Us All

Lions are my favorite animal.  They are strong, majestic, smart, beautiful creatures.  I love lions.  I wrote a whole retreat one time based off of the great scene in the movie The Lion King, where Mufasa comes down in the clouds to encourage Simba.  It's a great scene and a total metaphor for prayer.  It's perfect.

Cecil the Lion was killed recently to be a hunting trophy, and it is something that has created a lot of very strong and intense reactions in a lot of people across our country.

Cecil the Lion

As a Catholic who hangs out in Catholic groups and reads Catholic articles and sees Catholic friends post about Catholic issues, I have seen one very strong reaction that bothers me greatly.  The reaction that I see from Catholics is basically a response to the belief that animal conservationists are somehow "the" problem.  That animal rights and human rights somehow oppose each other, and that human rights are all that matters.  I'm sure that this happened from the other side, too.  That animal rights people claimed that animal rights is the most important. 

As far as I know, there isn't a name for people like me.  I am neither an animal conservationist, nor, well, anti-animal conservationist.  But I do love animals.  I do believe in treating them with the kind of dignity that they deserve.  They are not equal to humans by any means.  Human life has the most dignity because we are made in the Image and Likeness of God.  Therefore, we have great, unique, dignity.  But animals have dignity, too.  A certain kind of dignity.  They are not made in God's Image and Likeness, but they are made by God, and you betcha He loves them, too. We have an obligation to protect and care for God's creation, no matter if it's plants, animals, the Earth, or even space.  God gave us these things to use for our actual physical lives, for our enjoyment, for our amazement, and to give Him glory.  He did not give us these things so that we could abuse them.

Because I believe that God gave us these things to help us live, I am not opposed to hunting.  God gave us animals to eat.  But not all animals are created equally.

As a child/teen, I often heard that Taco Bell uses horse meat in its taco meat.  Appalled by this, many people claimed that they would never eat there.  I had no way of knowing if these things that I heard were true (note, I didn't hear this because of a newspaper article, or a news story, or on the radio, I heard it from my friends, who were my age, and basically knew nothing about how the world worked or what was real).  All I knew was that everyone who heard this had a very strong reaction to it.  Including myself.  And it made me curious.

Why, in the minds of so many people, is it ok to eat a chicken, but not a dog?  Why is it ok to eat a turkey, but not a cat?  Why is it ok to eat a cow, but not a horse?  Those last two are even rather similar to each other, don't you think?  I just never really understood the reasoning.  I felt the same way, though.  I felt that it is wrong to eat a dog, a cat, and a horse. 

Not all animals are created equal.  And we, humans, are a primary example of that.  We alone are animals made in the Image and Likeness of God.  If we are separate, aren't other animals kind of separate from each other as well?

Cecil the Lion died as a result of hunting.  I am not opposed to hunting.  I do believe, though, that there are animals you hunt, and animals you don't hunt.  And lions should be, in my opinion, on the "no-hunt" list.

But it's hard to understand why.  Where is that line?  When does it become ok to hunt and eat an animal, and when is that not ok?  I can't tell you.

As far as I know, the Bible is silent on this issue.  The Bible is NOT silent on the issue of protecting God's creation, though.  In fact, it says right away in the Bible, "The LORD God then took the man and settled him in the garden of Eden, to cultivate and care for it" (Genesis 2:15). 

Adam, who, at the time was ALL of mankind (Eve had yet to be created) was in charge of taking care of the Earth!  That was his job, and was/is therefore the job of all of humanity!  He was to cultivate and care for it!  It's part of being made in the Image and Likeness of God!  We have forgotten who we are...we are men and women, created in God's Image and Likeness, created with the responsibility and JOY of protecting and caring for the Earth. 

"You have forgotten who you are, and so have forgotten me...You are more than what you have become."

When people abuse this role, it becomes sinful.  So we unjustly hurt animals, people, and the most precious kinds of people...unborn babies.

I don't think that these two groups have to be on opposing teams.  And although the abortion issue is a top priority, I don't think that negates the animal and environmental issues, either.  If we don't take care of our planet, this planet will kill us.  It will become so polluted, there will be so little food left, that human kind will die off.  Taking care of the environment is part of the Pro-Life Movement!  WE ARE ON THE SAME TEAM!!!!!!!! 

When any of God's creatures/creation is abused, it SHOULD move us all!  We should all be outraged!  Not just the animal rights people.  Not just the pro-life people.  All of us, together, should be scandalized.

I think that the Cecil thing was blown out of proportion, but that doesn't matter.  What does matter is that we use this bad thing to start re-energizing us about what's important.  Picking fights about who is better or who is worse is a waste of energy.  If you are working at protecting God's creation, then you are doing a good thing.  Let's stop fighting each other and start working together to make this world a healthier, holier, better place!  We can do this!

Finally

Those of you who know me might be surprised by my reaction to the Planned Parenthood situation when I first heard about it.  I got onto Facebook (unfortunately, I get most of my news from Facebook) and read a heading that basically said that Planned Parenthood was caught selling baby parts in an undercover video.  I wasn't shocked.  On the contrary, I was relieved.

Finally.

They did it to themselves.

Planned Parenthood did for themselves what those in the Pro-Life movement have been trying to do for decades.  They proved that abortion is horrifying.  They proved that those babies have life.  They proved that abortion is wrong.

Planned Parenthood has done for this country (I can't say the world yet, because genocide happens across the world all the time, even when the validity of the life of the person is not a question) what nobody in the pro-life movement could do.  They, themselves, are the cause of new and intriguing conversations.  They, themselves, are the reason so many have decided to stop funding them, why so many are encouraging our nation as a whole to do so, too.

They are going to revolutionize the pro-life movement.

Although I was relieved, I could not celebrate what happened, because it was so horrible.  I always believed that the only way that people would really see how bad abortion is, would be if something truly appalling happened.  I had no idea it would be this.  Evil can only reign for so long.  It gets greedy, it gets sloppy, it goes too far, it pushes too fast before its victims are truly, fully, on board, and it makes mistakes.  It gets caught.  It always has and it always will.  I knew that the good men and women who fight for the lives of unborn babies could only do so much.  That doesn't mean that I thought that they should give up, it just meant that, something either miraculous or horrible was going to have to take place.  Sadly, it was the horrible.  But sometimes that's just how it has to go.  Sometimes evil destroys itself.

The abortion conversation is far from over, but a softening of hearts has taken place, and I believe that we can run with that.  Even some of the most pro-"choice" people out there have agreed that what Planned Parenthood has done is wrong.  Disgusting.  Horrifying.  Evil.  Those who haven't admitted that are in denial, stubborn/prideful, or actually corrupt.  The first two will eventually come around.  The later, well, we gotta keep those folks in our prayers in a big way.  I'm not saying they won't come around eventually.  Saint Paul can be their patron Saint.  If God could change Paul's heart, He can change theirs. 

As terrible as this whole thing is, it might just be the thing that ends it all.  All those little babies, the uncorrupt, souls who never sinned, never hurt anyone, never caused any harm, all of them are in Heaven praying for this situation like we don't know or understand.  With that many prayers, we can be assured that evil will not win this fight.  Good always wins.  This just might be the tipping off point.

I decided not to use any pictures in this post.  There are so many graphic graphics going around surrounding this issue, sometimes we just need a break.  Celebrate this victory, mourn over those who were lost, rest your eyes from the images you've seen, and then get back out there and fight for what's right.

Love Wins

I have to preface this post by saying that this is really hard for me to do.  Several years ago I posted about same-sex marriage, which revealed a few things about my relationships with some friends.  I learned that the friends who I met through a Catholic Church at a Catholic event with mostly Catholics in attendance, were so against the teachings of the Catholic Church that they were willing to actually tell me that we could no longer be friends because I believe in the Catholic Church's teachings on same-sex marriage (actually, to clarify, I believe in ALL of the teachings of the Catholic Church, which just happens to include these teachings on same-sex marriage).  I was actually un-invited to a very close friend's wedding - a female friend who was marrying a man - simply because I believe and stand for the Church's teachings.  It was a very painful experience for me.  It is because of this that I am hesitant to express my views on this topic.  My views, which are not new or even really insightful.  But, alas, I feel like I should probably say them anyway.  I know what you're thinking...

Ok!  Ok!  I'll stop procrastinating.

I don't hate gay people.  In fact, I don't hate any person.  Although I hate the things that some people do, I tend to be very compassionate towards even the worst people, people who actually do bad things on purpose, with the intention of hurting others, like criminals.  The fact that there are criminals and bad people and people who want to hurt people, means that there is a problem that is bigger than just that particular situation (sorry to be so repetitive, but you're going to see that a lot in this post).  A person is not just born a bad person.  They are made bad by circumstances in their lives.  We, those who live with, nearby, and even far away from criminals still contribute to their choices.  There is a whole society and world to blame for the fact that some people turn into "bad" people. 

Now, somebody is inevitably going to say that because I talked about "bad people" in a post about gay marriage, that I "obviously" think that gay people are bad.  Sorry.  That is not what I think.  It was just an example to show that I really don't believe in the idea of "bad" people at all.  I believe that we are all created "good."  I believe that if you polled every person alive and asked the question, "Is love good?" and "Is love valuable?" and "Would our world be better if everyone just loved one another?" and "Do you like love?" every person would say yes to those questions.  People want love.  They long for love.  They crave it.  What people can't agree upon is the definition of love.  And that is where we have a problem.  People aren't bad.  People don't want evil, sin, injustice, hunger or pain.  I believe in the goodness of people.

My point is, I don't hate gay people.  I don't hate people.  But I do think that sin is sin, no matter the circumstances surrounding it.  Most gay people have the idea that marriage is about love, that it is an expression of love, and that it is therefore, not only a right, but almost a necessity.  The world needs love!  How true that is!  They think, with good intentions, that marriage is about increasing the love in the world.  If that were true, trust me, I'd be on board with same-sex marriage, too.

Uh oh!  I said hell!  To clarify:  I don't think that just because a person is gay or supports gay marriage, that they are going to hell.  Read the next paragraph for an explanation as to why.  This picture was simply meant to bring about the point that good intentions, like I talked about previously, can lead to bad things.

I don't think that gay people are evil.  I don't think that, in general, they are out to hurt anybody intentionally.  Some Catholics act like gay people are out to get them.  That they are just such bad people that they are trying to sell the world to the devil.  Many gay people act like Catholics are out to get them.  Like we are out to ruin their way of life as a power trip.  That we hate them and therefore want to hurt them.  Honestly, I don't think that there are many people in the world who actually want to hurt others.  Frequently, hurt comes as a result of a misunderstanding, which seems to be the case here.  I think that gay-marriage is bad for the world for a number of reasons, but mostly because I believe it is sinful, and anytime anybody sins, it just increases the evil in the world - whether or not the person intends to increase the sin in the world or not.  I just don't think that they see it that way, and so there is a big misunderstanding.  But, I do believe in a loving and merciful God, who, at our moments of death, will show us the ways we have mistakenly and unintentionally hurt others, and He will give us a chance to make amends for those things, to choose Him, and to choose life.  All of us have hurt people without meaning to do so.

See, to me, purity is a big deal.  Self-control is a big deal.  And I practice those things regularly.  If you know me, you know that I believe that purity is important.  I am very careful about protecting my purity, and the purity of those around me.  I, too, feel the burden of loneliness as a result of living a pure lifestyle.  I have felt that loss.  I felt that loss today even.  Being 30, single, and pure is hard, and it feels impossible to ever find someone my age who also holds these values as dearly as I do.  Maybe I never will.  I have grieved over non-existent relationships, events I had to attend alone, embarrassing conversations with people who don't understand why I believe what I believe.  So, when I advocate for purity, know that I am not just telling others to do something that I have not experienced myself.

I know that gay people say that it's not a choice, and I'm not suggesting that it is a choice.  That feeling feelings for someone is not something that you can control.  I'm not saying they can control that part of it.  I am saying that they must control their actions.  Just like I must control my actions when I have feelings for someone who doesn't reciprocate those feelings.

There are a lot of people who are born with circumstances that are outside of their control.  There are people who are born into poverty.  Those people are still expected to live virtuous lives.  There are people who are born with diseases.  Those people are still expected to live virtuous lives.  There are people who are born with parents who are addicted to drugs.  People who have depression.  People who have physical disabilities.  They are still expected to live virtuous lives.  None of these things are things that God created for us.  There is a difference between the way that God created you, and the way that you were born.  God created you good.  He created you perfectly.  He did NOT create us with original sin.  But we are born with it.  Jeremiah 1:5 says

You see?  "Before you were formed, I knew you!"  BEFORE!  God created you perfectly, but original sin is fast, and it gets into our DNA and changes what God started.  Psalm 139:13 says,

God created you and everyone perfectly, but sin caused us harm.  So often people say things like, "You were created with cancer for a reason, to teach others how to suffer with joy."  That's just not true.  You were not created with any defects, pain, or illness.  You were just born that way.  And God used your circumstances to bring Him glory, to bring others joy, to spread love.  God can use you even in the bleakest of circumstances.  Just like Joseph did in Genesis, He can use your bad situation for good.

A person who is born gay might be born that way, but they were not created by God that way.  God did not "give" this to any person.  And yes, they still are expected to live a virtuous life, which includes purity.  It includes chastity.  You cannot make the excuse, "Well, I was born this way" to defend immoral living.  The Bible makes it abundantly clear that homosexual acts are sinful.  They go against God's Divine Design.  They aren't what we are created for.  Marriage is supposed to bring about life through children, and children are an impossibility in the case of gay marriage.  It's as simple as that.

Earlier this summer, when the gay-marriage laws passed in the Supreme Court, everywhere you looked you saw the hashtag "lovewon."  But that wasn't my experience that day.  I didn't see love on social media, in the stores, or anywhere I looked.  I saw people being horrible to one-another.

There are two realities here.  One is that Jesus, aka God, aka Love, conquered 2,000 years ago.  Yes, love already won the war.  But it is our job to fight the battles.  And I'll tell you what, I have seen so many battles where love lost.  Battles where love lost because Catholics were using their words and their actions to needlessly increase pain and suffering among the gay community, and I have seen love lose because gay people and same-sex marriage supporters used their words and actions to needlessly increase the pain and suffering among those who oppose them.  In fact, in both cases, some even appear to take pleasure in increasing the pain and suffering.  It's one thing to cause pain and suffering in order to correct a bad situation (like a doctor must increase pain and suffering in a patient by performing surgery, but that surgery ultimately heals the person and increases their joy later), it's another thing entirely to try to hurt someone for the sake of hurting them, or because it brings you joy.

Catholics, come on!  Be better than you've been.  All of you (note, I include myself in the "all of you" category).  We can correct bad behavior without attacking a person's dignity.  You don't have to be nice, but don't be cruel.  Honestly, we, as a group, have been losing the fight of love for a long time.  We haven't always been compassionate.  We haven't always been willing to listen.  We don't often correct with kindness.  We don't often remember that this is a big deal, and that asking a gay person to live a chaste life is asking a whole lot from them.  Asking them to give up a marriage for your personal beliefs is not an easy thing to do.  We need to understand that we are talking about people's lives here.  And even though we know and believe in the Truth, they don't.  It's hard enough to ask someone who does submit to these teachings to give so much up; it's nearly impossible to ask if they don't believe.  I fear that we are approaching this from the wrong angle. 

And if you are for same-sex marriage, and you use(d) the hashtag "lovewon," well...prove it!  Because, I'll tell you what, if what you as a community promotes as "love" is truly love, I want nothing to do with it.  There was cruelty, hatred, and ugliness in your response to that ruling.  It was not attractive to me at all.

I don't hate gay people.  But I do believe in, submit to, and even promote the teachings of the Catholic Church.  I have hope in the True Love who won 2,000 years ago, and I wish that I will participate in any small battle that advances the army of love on Earth today.