World Youth Day - Day 9 (The Papal Mass)

Sunday, July 28, 2013

I would have thought that I would be extremely exhausted waking up at 5:00 am, after a night of restless sleep on the cold, hard sidewalk, but I was wrong.  I was amazed at how alert I was considering the circumstances.

A few thoughts ran through my head upon waking up.  Trying to go back to sleep was useless.  I should try to use the port-a-potty now because the line would be much smaller now.  It was really cold.  I was bored.  There was a barricade miraculously set up around us.

It was the last thought that really intrigued me.  I couldn't figure out how or when it had appeared.  Before, I thought that my sleep was really shallow, but when I saw that a metal barricade had been built around my head while I was sleeping, and I had no idea that it was happening, I realized I was in a deeper sleep than I had known.

I wondered if some officials set up the barricade, considering we were right by a walk-way.  This was part of the reason that I was afraid to go to sleep the night before.  I was afraid that someone would step on me in my sleep.  Maybe an official had that concern as well.

But I soon discovered that it was our guardian, Trevor, who had taken pieces of the barricade that was set up to protect the Pope, and put it around our group to protect us.  I guess he was concerned about the people stepping on us, too.  It was a really cool surprise.  He really took good care of us, probably in ways we will never even know.  It was very special.

As I sat up in the dark early morning, wondering about what I should do, a couple of guys came to talk to me.  I heard one say to another, "They are American," while pointing at me.  The only people who were awake in our group was Trevor and me, so I was a little worried that they would come and talk to me.  And then my fears were realized.  They came and talked to me.

I was worried, but then again, there were so many people around, what would they do?  We talked for a little while, and I found out that they were not part of the World Youth Day crowd (again, worried), but that they wanted to practice their English on English speaking people.  I was annoyed that they were talking so loud, because my group was trying to sleep.  They were harmless and left quickly.

Trevor brought me some cardboard to sit on, because the ground was cold.  I thought that was really nice.  It made a big difference, too!.  


I got to watch the sunrise on the beach.  People started to wake up as the sun rose, but they were woken up very abruptly at 7:00 am, when the music started playing!  Morning prayer began.

People brought tents, but I was embarrassed that we brought backpacks.  Where did they put those tents?  Did they have Hermoine's purse from the Harry Potter movies?  Maybe!

The sunrise on the beach

Me at the barricade that Trevor built, just after the sun came up

I hadn't had the courage to use the restroom yet, because I was so cold.  After I learned that it took one member of our group an hour and a half to stand in line, and that the toilets were overflowing, I decided to wait.  This, of course, was a bold move.  I decided that I would just not drink any water that morning.  I hadn't had much the night before, so this would really not be any different.  For future reference:  this is not a good or healthy plan.  But, it's the one that I chose and stuck with for far too long!

I had lost my appetite in a big way the night before, and I still didn't feel like eating much.  But someone brought some bananas to share, and I ate one of those.  I also ate one of the toast packets, and some pineapple juice (which I wasn't going to drink, but I really needed something to drink!).  

The sun came up, and I lied back down for a little while.  I probably slept for half an hour.  What can I say?  It was the best sleep I got all night.  I was finally warm.  Even though I was more alert than I expected, I was quite tired.

After I woke up again, we started talking about packing our stuff up.  We learned that we had to replace the barricade because the Pope was going to drive back through the crowd again.  We were so close at this point!  Maybe we would get to see him!  I know that I wasn't going to miss out on this opportunity.  I may never get this chance again!  I had to take it while I could!

I packed up my stuff and grabbed a great spot near the barricades.  Others from our group saw me there and followed quickly afterwards.  We stood there for a little while. We were pretty much as close as we could get.  And, although we had to wait for a couple of hours, we knew that it would be worth it.  And the time really flew at this point.

And then...it happened.

We.

Saw.

The.

Pope!!!!!!!!!

He drove right past us!  I was probably about 20 feet away from him.  Now, I'm kind of a goof-ball when it comes to famous people, but this was more than just a close encounter with a famous person.  This was the Pope!  El Papa!  It was incredible!

We stood around for a little while.  I was shaking from the excitement of seeing the Pope!  I could hardly even breathe!  We all had to calm down for a little while.

After the Pope got up to the stage, a couple of ceremony things happened.  We performed the world's biggest flash mob dance for the Pope, which was kind of cool.  

Mass started.  We finally had a transistor radio (because a priest gave one to me), and so we were able to hear the English translation of the mass.  Pope Francis made three main points:  1 - Go, 2 - Do not be afraid, 3 - Serve.  He talked about how Jesus is always walking right beside us, and so we are never ever alone in our journey.  I thought that was so beautiful.  It was simple, but profound. 

One of the girls from our group had hurt her ankle during the vigil, and it was during the mass that they decided to get a medical person to look at it.  They decided that she needed to be taken in for x-rays.  Some of the group went with her.

While that part of the group was away, the mass was still happening.  Some of the group wanted to leave early, but I didn't, and for good reason.  A pilgrimage is a journey with a destination.  Our earthly pilgrimage is supposed to lead us to heaven.  That's the destination of our pilgrimage on Earth.  Our World Youth Day pilgrimage was to lead us to a papal mass.  THAT was our destination.  To leave early would mean that we went through all of that suffering, pain and toil for nothing.  I just didn't think that was such a good idea.  

At the end of Mass, the Pope announced the location for the next World Youth Day, which will take place in Poland in 2016.  What a tribute that will be to Pope John Paul II, who was from Poland, who loved youth and started World Youth Day!  He'll be a Saint by then, too!  It'll be an amazing event, and, even though I had a really difficult time with some of this event, I kind of want to go to that one.  I think that it will be very special.  

Most people also disagreed with me when I decided that we would finish the pilgrimage with the walk home, instead of taking the subway.  But again, that was an important part of the pilgrimage journey, especially on this particular World Youth Day, with the theme, "Go make disciples of all nations!"  After all, the theme was, "Go," not, "Ok, now it's time to relax."  Just because the mass was over, which technically meant that the pilgrimage was over, didn't mean that our journey was over.  We are never called to stop.  That's why it's so important that the final words of the mass are "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord."  Once the mass is over, we are called to go out into the world and give what we have received.  It's NOT over!  Once we get to heaven, we will still be working.  Maybe not with tiresome, boring, painful labor, but we will be working in heaven.  We will be praying, just like the souls that are currently in heaven are doing.  Death does not mean an end in work.

We had to keep moving, even if it was tiring.  I kept reflecting on how Pope Francis reminded us that we aren't on this journey alone, that Jesus is right beside us.  As we walked back, I kept picturing Jesus there with us.  I didn't share that with anyone, but I thought it was great.  

I don't believe in taking the easy way, and I don't believe our pilgrims should, either.  You know what kind of person takes the easy way?  An unhappy one.  Seriously.  The people who try to cut corners and cut lines and cheat and lie and do half-hearted work are rarely happy people.  They don't have anything to be proud of, any accomplishments to their name.  Faith is not easy.  You may have times of ease and comfort, maybe even extended times, but in the end, you're going to be challenged.  And it's those who pick up their backpacks and get back on the road who make it to heaven.  And our group certainly got to experience our own type of heaven.

It turns out that the walk home was quite pleasant.  Not only was our group in a particularly good mood the entire way (despite the fact that they really didn't want to walk), but it was a lovely day, and we all got to thoroughly enjoy each other's company.  We chatted, took pictures, took short bathroom and water breaks, and we made it back in one piece!  It was so pleasant, in fact, that many of the pilgrims expressed how it was one of their favorite times in the entire pilgrimage.  And, even though I have no specific memories to point out about this walk home, I can say that I loved it, too.  It was peaceful, and it was fun.

It took us a long time to walk back.  Three hours.  But when we got back to the ferry, we saw bus loads of people who were still being transported by bus to the ferries!  Which means that we could have (and probably would have) stood in line for three or more hours waiting to get shoved onto tiny, crowded, and rather scary buses, OR, we could have done what we did, which was to walk back and enjoy our afternoon together.  I think that most of us were incredibly grateful for what we decided to do!

On the ferry after the walk home.  We made it!

Most of the time that we were in Brazil, the pilgrims kept asking if we could go to Outback Steakhouse.  I surprised them that night by allowing them to eat dinner there!  Even though I hate steak, this was one of my favorite times in the whole week.  We truly experienced heaven there.  Even though we all stunk, we were extremely exhausted, and we had huge backpacks with us, we celebrated at Outback Steakhouse like you wouldn't believe.  Meals were devoured.  Laughter was shared.  A sense of accomplishment hovered over us.  We had made our pilgrimage, and we finished the right way.  It doesn't get much better than that.

I was still sick, and because I was sick, I pretty much lost my hearing in my left ear.  Dinner was rather interesting for me, but it was kind of funny.  I had no idea sometimes that people were talking to me.  I strained to hear, but couldn't.  I had to have the people who were closest to me repeat what others further away were saying.  For all I know, they were making fun of me right next to me, and I had no clue!  I doubt that happened, but with this group, you never know!

I don't even remember the bus ride from Outback Steakhouse to the school, but I know we must have done it!  We were all very focused on getting home at that point.  Immediately upon arriving back at the school, most people jumped in the showers.  It was a huge relief to finally be clean!  That was a lot of exercise!  

The group that went to the hospital to get x-rays finally came back.  I stayed out and chatted with some of our pilgrims for a little while, but quickly went to bed.  I couldn't wait to be asleep.

Just before I went to bed, the group from England returned.  They told us about how they spent the day on the beach, which sounded like a terrible idea to me!  Knowing what I now know, I think that the best thing for our particular group was exactly what we did:  walk home and eat at Outback Steakhouse!  It was a fun, although tiring, day!  Truly one of the best!

World Youth Day - Day 8 (The Vigil)

Saturday, July 27, 2013

It was the worst possible day to get sick, but it happened.  I woke up on the morning of the vigil almost incapable of breathing because I had such a bad head cold.  Luckily, between the medicines that I brought and the ones Richard brought, I was able to get myself feeling well enough to have a good day.

We woke up at a reasonable time, but the group from England had been gone for some time before we even got up.  This was cause for concern for me.  I couldn't help but wonder exactly why they thought it was so important to get up so early.  What memo did WE miss?

One of the first things that I noticed was that our packs were big and heavy compared to the other people we saw getting ready.  We brought backpacking backpacks, while other groups just used the small day packs that we had been using on the weekdays.  I was embarrassed.  All I brought in my backpack was a sleeping bag, some warm(ish) clothes, my first aid kit, and some water.  I wondered how they fit everything inside those small packs.  And I almost immediately regretted bringing so much stuff.  My bag was heavy and cumbersome.  I longed to have a smaller, lighter bag, like so many of the people around us. 

We all got ready and left to go get breakfast.  Our breakfast kits were a bit bigger this morning, because they included a snack.  Most of us were hungry and ate the snack with the breakfast.  Even with the snack, the breakfasts weren't very filling.  And with the long walk ahead of us, we were going to need the energy.

We spent more time eating breakfast than I would have liked, but it turned out that that extra 15 minutes didn't really make a big difference.  

We got on the bus to go to Rio, which took us to the beginning of the pilgrimage walk.  We got off the bus, took a few moments to apply sunscreen, pray as a group, and collect ourselves.  And then, we were off!

Beginning the long walk (about 6 miles)

We began at a rather quick pace, but I think that most of us were content with it.  

Then we stopped for a break.

Then we started.

Then we stopped for a break.

Then we started.

Then it started to rain, and we had to stop to get our rain gear on.

Rain can't stop us!

Then we started.

The stopping and starting became a little irritating, but it was necessary.  One of the boys volunteered to carry the backpack of a member of our group who was unable to carry it herself.  He carried his pack on his back, and hers on his front.  He was extremely generous with that pack.  He never complained.  He never got frustrated.  He just did what he had to do.  Seeing that was really special.

We were told that we were going to have to stop to get the rest of our food along the way.  When we got to the point where we had to get the food, there were people everywhere.  It was crazy.  The line was insane.  But this was the food that we were going to eat for our lunch, dinner, and breakfast the next day.  There wasn't really much of a choice.  We had to stop and wait in that line.

Balloons

Some of the boys waited in line while the rest of us waited under a tree near the port-a-potties.  Despite what you may think, this was actually a good location, because, for many of us, this would be the last time we'd get to use a port-a-potty for about 24 hours.  If we weren't so close to them, many of our group might have gotten lazy and decide not to use them at that time.  It was a huge blessing that we were there.

Some of the teens got to sleep while we waited for the food.  The guys who were standing in line didn't get to, though.  I didn't sleep either.  I was trying to be in solidarity with those guys as much as possible.  Plus, someone had to make sure that our stuff didn't get stolen.  Yes, that was a real fear!

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting

One of the girls braided the hair of many of the girls who were with us.  It was really nice of her to do that for us.  It took a long time to do everyone's hair.  She is really talented.  Men just don't understand the braided hair thing.  I've heard Chris Padgett, a Catholic youth speaker, talk and joke about girls braiding their hair at these types of events.  Believe me, it's not just about a look (although, it was nice to finally get some pictures of myself that where my hair didn't look like a complete mess).  Sometimes it's about functionality.  It keeps the hair out of your face, which is a huge benefit at an event where you don't have the time or patience to keep fixing it.  Plus, it feels way less dirty when it's braided.  Don't ask me why.

Hair braided!

A volunteer approached me at one point and asked me if we were planning on staying in that spot once our food arrived.  I said no.  I could see the relief on her face when I said that.  She had a hard job, making sure that everyone left quickly.  The natural instinct is to eat your lunch once you get it, especially considering it was now 3:00 in the afternoon and we hadn't eaten since breakfast.  When I told her that we were planning on leaving (before she asked me to), she just smiled and said, "That is a good answer!"  I liked that.  I felt bad for her.  I was happy to make it easy on her.

We waited.  And waited.  And waited for our food.  After four long hours of waiting, we finally had our food, and we were walking again.  We didn't even take the time to eat some of it.  We just took our kits and started walking.

The boxes weren't made for travel, and the bottoms kept breaking.  That was really frustrating.

The walk was harder than it had been before the food break, but it wasn't impossible.  It was really crowded and intense.  Carrying those boxes of food was surprisingly difficult.  They were heavy and awkward, and that little bit of extra weight made the journey that much more difficult.

Everyone in the crowd had high spirits though.  They kept chanting the phrase that they had been saying all week:  "Esta es!  La juventud del Papa!" which means something like, "This is the youth of the Pope!"  

I kept feeling water splash on my ankles, and I thought that it was a bit strange until someone pointed out that my bag was wet and dripping water.  Yep.  Sure enough, the water bottle that I had packed at the TOP of my stuff, had opened and leaked all the way through to the bottom of my bag.  All of the contents of my bag were wet.  This was going to be an awesome night.

Walking through Rio was exciting.  The people of Rio didn't really protest (although a few did quietly).  Mostly, the people came to cheer us on.  They lined streets and bridges as we passed, waving and taking our pictures.  I felt like the city really embraced what was going on, and I felt very welcomed and loved by them.  I know that I'm not the only one who felt that way.  

Supporters from Rio, cheering us on!

Our view as we walked!  So beautiful!

It was getting dark when we finally got to the beach (remember, it was winter there, so the sun set early).  The streets were incredibly and intensely crowded.  At one point, I overheard a member of our group say, "Well now my trip is ruined!"  I turned to find out what was going on, only to discover that he had been pickpocketed, and his camera was stolen out from his pocket.  I shouted to the front of the group to stop, and rushed ahead to tell Richard what had happened.  I wanted to remind everyone to not put anything in their pockets.  At that point, I saw Richard worry.  He checked his pockets and found that he, too, had been pick pocketed.  His credit cards and ID were in his pocket, and had been stolen.  Why would you put anything in your pocket?!

We stopped, in the middle of the street, so he could borrow my phone to call home and start the process of canceling his credit cards.  This happened very quickly, actually, and then we began to look for a place to camp.

We couldn't get through to the beach yet, because the barricades were up.  The Pope was going to pass very close to us.  Again, we stopped by the port-a-potties. 

We waited, took bathroom breaks (if you can call it a bathroom), and rested.  We were actually really close to the barricades at this point, and so we were hoping that we could actually catch a glimpse of the Pope as he passed by.  And we did!  This time, for less than one second, I caught a glimpse of his face!  It was so fast and so chaotic, but I saw him!  I couldn't believe it!

Climbing Port-A-Potties is pretty risky, but they thought it was worth it to catch a glimpse of the Pope!

This is where it got scary!  They opened the barricaded area to let us onto the beach.  I had a small group with me, while the rest of the group was way ahead.  The crowds started pressing forward, and I started to get carried away with the crowd.  Literally.  My feet weren't even touching the ground.  I had no control over where I was going.  It was kind of scary.  I remember thinking, "This is how people get crushed in crowds.  This is how people die."  

It was while I was being carried away that Richard's wife called back to update him on the credit card situation.  I felt bad for her, because that was a very stressful situation for her, so I answered the phone.  While I was being carried.  I couldn't really help her, but I wanted her to know that Richard would call her back very soon. 

Finally, we got through the worst part of the crowd, and on to the beach.  The beach was packed with people, and nobody would let us sit with them.  Some of them were kind of rude about it, but I don't blame them.  How early had they left in order to reserve those spots I wonder?  Earlier in the day I had wondered why the group from England decided to leave so early.  After seeing this, I realized that even they left too late! 

We were looking for a place on the beach, and I turned around and saw this.  All those screens!

We left the beach and went out to the streets, where we decided to camp out temporarily.  Temporarily turned into permanently for the rest of the night, and I was relieved about that.  People kept trying to walk over our stuff, so Christa and I made a human wall to stop that from happening.  I so badly wanted to sit down, but until things died down a bit, I refused!  Two of the boys did the same thing on a different corner of our camp out area.  Nobody could ruin our camp site!

The boys, keeping watch of our camp site!

The Pope led us in Adoration, which was amazing.  Yes, it was still hard to concentrate, but it was so beautiful that it was impossible not to appreciate what was going on.  

Our camp site

When the vigil ended, several people from our group were asleep right away.  A few of us stayed up and played cards for a little while, but mostly, we were excited to go to sleep.  It had been a long day, and we knew it would be hard again tomorrow.  It was here that I discovered that the most essential thing I brought with me (my sleeping bag) wasn't wet from my water bottle spilling!  I had sprayed it with water proofing spray before we left, and so I give myself credit for it being dry!  Maybe that's unreasonable, but I don't care!  I am taking credit for it anyway!

It was unsafe for everyone to sleep, because the thieves weren't even being subtle.  They were just picking up people's things and walking away with them.  A few of the boys took turns watching our stuff.  Until 2:00 am, one boy kept watch, and then our hero, a boy named Trevor, stayed up the rest of the night, keeping watch.  I'll tell you what, there were several moments when I woke up, panicking, thinking that nobody was keeping watch.  And every time I woke up, he was right there, quickly by my side, asking if I needed anything.  I was always assured that he was keeping us safe and looking out for us.  Now, I have slept in a sleeping bag many times in my life, and I have never experienced what happened here, but I actually managed to zip my hair into my sleeping bag while I had been asleep.  And who was there to help me unzip it?  Trevor!  It was so good to have him around.  It was cold, and yet he gave all of his warm clothes and sleeping stuff to people in our group who were cold.  He was tired, and yet he stayed awake the entire night.  He really took care of us and protected us when we needed him.  It was really quite special.  

Sleeping on the street was quite painful, and cold, but we made it through.  I was still feeling rather ill, but I was in a good mood.  We were excited for tomorrow, for we were hopeful it would bring amazing things.  And it sure did!

Christa and I were tired, but happy!  It was a good day!

World Youth Day - Day 7 (Stations of the Cross)

Friday, July 26, 2013

This was my favorite day!  I've been excited to finally get to day 7, to tell what happened here!

Running out of water for showers, flushing toilets, and brushing teeth had become routine at this point.  Carrying flashlights around with you in the accommodations was just what you did.  We weren't surprised anymore when it happened.  In fact, we had come to expect it.

We started the day by grabbing our breakfast kits, and taking off to go to Rio!  We skipped out on catechesis at the place we were supposed to have it so that we could hear Cardinal O'Malley speak at the American Center.  Richard had to leave to take a teen to replace his credentials that were lost.  There I was, alone with the group again.  But at least this time I had Father Chris with me, and one of our adults had her phone, so I let Richard have mine, so we could be in contact.  Those things helped.  Even though we weren't sure that we were going to the vigil, we knew that if we did, we wanted to make sure that everyone could get in.

Guaravita Juice that the locals love.  I didn't love it.

I didn't really listen to Cardinal O'Malley, because I wanted to take notes about other things we'd done up until this point, and this was the only time I had to do it.  I know that, like Archbishop Charles from South Africa, and Archbishop Aquila from Denver, Cardinal O'Malley spoke about the Rich Young Man.  Was that a coincidence, or were they instructed to teach about that?  I really couldn't tell.  

When we arrived at the American Center, where we weren't supposed to be, it was crowded past capacity, so we were told we'd have to sit outside and watch the screens out there.  But then a member of our group went to talk to someone and got us into an overflow room.  I started writing in my journal, when a bunch of helicopters started flying around.  We thought that they were watching Pope Francis as he drove around the city.  Although we have no proof of that fact, I know that is what was going on.  He had apparently driven by the American Center just before we arrived there.  

We were watching the helicopters, wishing that he'd drive by again, when I noticed that confessions were going on in a different part of the room.  There was no line or wait.  In fact, many of the priests were just sitting there.  I knew that I should go to confession, and now was the opportune time to do it.  So, I started to do an examination of conscience.  I was pacing back and forth as I prayed, which was very concerning to the priest who was directing people for confessions.  He asked me if I was alright.  Of course I was, but I don't think he really believed me.

I finally felt prepared to go to confession, and I had the best confession of my life!  The priest was amazing.  I felt like he really understood me, like he really cared.  We didn't just talk about my sins, but about my life in general.  I saw something in that priest, something that surprised me.  I know that every time you go to confession you are talking with a priest who is In Persona Christi, but I still always feel like I'm talking to some priest.  I know I'm not, but I feel like I am.  Well it was different this time.  I felt like I was literally talking to Jesus.  There was no mask there.  I saw Jesus.  I met Him.  And it was amazing.

My penance?  How ironic.  My penance was to be joyful.  Considering the bad attitude I had all week, it was very appropriate.  That's what I had been missing!  It was so clear!  After I left that Reconciliation, I was like a changed person!  It was the best feeling in the world!  I was free, and it was good!

We had mass with Cardinal O'Malley.  Everyone in our group got lunch at the American Center as I spoke with the American Embassy about the Vigil, Mass, and our accommodations.  I told them about how we were not feeling very safe in our accommodations, and how we were concerned about the safety of the vigil.  The lady informed me that there was talk that they'd be canceling the vigil entirely due to safety concerns, and that the mass was being moved to 4:45 pm.  That would have solved our group's problems, that is for sure!

She was incredibly helpful to us, and we were very appreciative of all that we did.  It made all of our decisions so much easier!  Now it looked like we could go to the vigil, but if things got dangerous, we would have a place to go.  That sounded like a good plan to most of us!

We made our way to meet up with Richard, where we had a little bit of time to eat a bigger meal and do some shopping.  I ate at a place called Big Bob's.  There were a bunch of stands selling things.  I had less than ten minutes to get in, find some souveniers, and get back to the group.  Somehow, I managed to do all of that and go pray in an Adoration tent that had a relic of Padre Pio!  That was great! 

We also had a little bit of time to stop in a Franciscan Monastery that was just about the most beautiful place I'd ever seen!  Somehow I started feeling dizzy again, but that feeling didn't last for very long.  

It was all gold inside the Monastery!

The ceiling

We took too long at the Monestary, and had to rush to the Stations of the Cross.  This was the first time I got a glimpse of Pope Francis.  Well, I saw the roof of his car, but I was still very close!  Some of our group saw him!

Like Zacchaeus, people waited in trees to get a glimpse of the Pope!

I had a lot of fun at the Stations of the Cross, but I hardly focused on the stations at all.  I felt joyful, and I wanted to celebrate that!  I spent more money here than I did the rest of the time!  I bought candy and popcorn and I ate it and enjoyed it!  It was fabulous!  

CHOCOLATE!!!!!

I had been irritated at the Opening Ceremonies because people were joking around and not taking it seriously, and here I was, doing the same thing at the Stations of the Cross.  I realized, of course, that maybe I had been too harsh.  I realized that I was too quick to judge before.  

Our group, reading along with the Stations of the Cross

We got our stuff blessed by Pope Francis here!  Several people from home gave us stuff to get blessed by him, too! 

Getting their religious items blessed!

We left a little early, just in time to beat the crowds.  It was amazing to me to see how skilled we became at getting home.  On the first night, we got stuck in Rio.  On the next night, we got lost in Niteroi.  On the next night, we got locked out of the school.  And on this night, we made it home with no problems!  It was a miracle if I've ever seen one!

The subways were crazy packed!  Always!

Things were looking up.  I actually had fun on this day.  Real, actual fun.  It's amazing what happens to a person when they meet Jesus!  It changes you!

World Youth Day - Day 6 (Welcoming of the Pope)

Thursday, July 25, 2013

At 7:15, we were up and ready to go.  We stopped at a stand on the way to breakfast...so that we could eat breakfast.  I think that this really lifted the spirits of some people in our group.  They really needed a tasty snack. 

We got to the place where we had catechesis and ate our boxed breakfasts. 

It's amazing how exhaustion can affect a person.  I said that the day before, after I hit my head, I started crying and couldn't really stop for a long time.  Well, that continued this morning.  It was on this day that I started to seriously ask the question, "how can I get out of the rest of this?"  If I had found a way, I wonder if I actually would have taken it.  I was really struggling.  It was only the 6th day, and the most difficult stuff was still to come.  I wanted to give up.  It all just seemed impossible.

I think that the most difficult thing was that I was frustrated with the lack of prayer.  I seemed to be praying less than I would at home.  Less!!  There was just so much distraction.  The language was different.  And we didn't have time.

I cried for a little while, which I think was good for me.  Once I got it out of my system, I never cried again on this pilgrimage.  And I stopped about an hour after breakfast.

We got another surprise on this day!  Archbishop Aquila, who was so happy to see us the day before, was the one doing catechesis for us today!  And Mass!  When they introduced him, we got out our Colorado flag and cheered and waved the flag.  Again, he looked like a proud papa.  I swear, he gave his entire teaching looking at us!

We had mass.  It was freezing.  I was trying to get all bundled up in blankets.  That news, that we'd experience the coldest cold front in Brazil's history seemed to be true on this day.

After mass, we left to head into Rio.  And, shockingly, it was warm outside.  How did that happen?  It's weird because the buildings in Brazil don't really have windows.  Some do, but they are kind of rare.  Most of the buildings we stayed in had bars across the "windows," but no glass.  I suppose they don't really need protection from the elements like we do in Colorado.  We were there on a day that felt cold because we didn't have long pants and because our clothes had gotten wet in the rain the day(s) before.  It was cold enough to see your breath though.  Actually, I think that somehow, in a weird way, it was almost humid enough to see your breath.  It looked different than it does in Colorado.  I think that it was just cold inside the building that morning because of the lack of windows, and that's why I was so cold!

We ate lunch at the mall again.  By the time we got there, my hoodie finally dried completely!  It had been damp for days, and now it was finally dry!  Oh the relief!

I met Batman at the mall!

One of my favorite moments of the entire trip happened during lunch.  Ordering food was kind of a disaster everywhere we went.  I never really expected to get what I asked for, because I knew that it was near impossible.  I got up to the front of the line, and I pointed at the menu to show her that I wanted the Number Two Combo, and I put up two fingers.  She asked me what I wanted on top, and I pointed to the word Pepperoni.  Then she kept talking to me.  I couldn't figure out what she was saying.  I shook my head, and she kept talking.  I asked for some of the boys who were with me to come and help me, and they couldn't figure it out either.  She asked for her manager to come over and help her, but he couldn't figure it out either.  Finally, I just gave her my card, and I decided that whatever she gave me, I'd eat.

We stood there, waiting to see what I got, and we looked at the receipt, which was WAY more expensive than it should have been.  We thought that maybe I ordered an entire pizza on accident.  It turns out, I ordered two Number Two Combos!  That's ok, though.  I ate them both!  And I ate them fast!  And I felt so good to be full!

I really enjoyed this time, because, frustrating as it was, we laughed a lot.  We were actually having a really fun time trying to figure out what I ordered.  I was just happy that I got to eat!

We went from lunch to the American Center to watch the welcoming ceremony, since we didn't have the subway passes we needed to go see it in person.  I was sad because I really wanted to be there.  I could watch a TV back at home.  I didn't have to come here to do that.  But, actually, after the Pope arrived, they did a weird welcoming ceremony, that even I thought was weird.  Too weird.  Really really weird.  We were all a little worried about the Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics after we saw that show.  They like weird stuff here. 


The satellites lost their signal, so we had to leave without getting to finish watching.  I don't think that anyone was disappointed in the idea of getting home early.  Early sounded so nice.  Plus, we were supposed to be getting a translation of what was being said, and the translator did a terrible job.  We still had no idea what was happening.  Not even I was disappointed!  Because the ceremonies were still going on when we left, we missed the big crowds!  And it stopped raining!

The American Center, where we watched the Pope arrive

There he is!

Saying hello!

We were all in high spirits, until we got on the ferry and learned that the place where they were going to hold the vigil later in the week had flooded.  We were a little skeptical about this news, since their definition of "flooded" in the boys' room was very different than ours was.  Now that I've seen pictures of Campus Fidei, there is no way they could have had the vigil there.  I'm curious as to why they picked that place at all.  Apparently it used to be a swamp, that human beings tried to drain and turn into something different.  It turns out, once a swamp, always a swamp, until God says it's no longer a swamp!

The people who told us about the changes were a little dramatic about it.  They said that having the vigil at Copacabana Beach would be a "death sentence," and of course, that freaked people out.  We still didn't know that this was true, and we still didn't know what kind of security they would have at the vigil and mass.  But those words, "death sentence," kinda stick with you!

We got back to the school before we were allowed to go in, so we had to find something to do.  What's a good thing to do when you're bored?  Food!  So we went to this really sketchy pizza place where they set up tables for us basically in the street.  We were just counting down the minutes until the school would open, because we did not want to stay there.  We had fun outside the pizza place, though, coming up with stories about our group.  I won't go into details here about those stories, because that's a book in itself!  But it was a lot of fun!

At 10:00 exactly, we headed back to the school, where it was still locked.  We didn't wait for too long (although it felt like we did) before we discovered that there were people inside who accidentally shut the gate which locks automatically.  We probably could have entered the building before pizza, but then we wouldn't have gotten pizza, which is a good thing to have!

After we started eating, we made the announcement to the group about Campus Fidei, and our safety concerns.  It really sounded like we weren't even going to go to the vigil or mass at all.  The teens were really disappointed, as you can imagine, but they took it in stride.  None of them threw fits or cried or anything.  I think that some of them were even relieved to not have to go!  But most were disappointed.  I kept telling them to pray for a miracle.  We didn't know all of the facts yet.  If we learned that they had a plan for security that we were comfortable with, we'd do it.  A lot could change in only a few days.

We stayed up for a while calling parents to tell them what we knew, and to ask for their permission to attend the event, and not attend the event, based on what we learned as we went.  The parents spent a lot of money so that their kids could go to this vigil.  If it turned out that we weren't going to it, they needed to know that before.  We also wanted to let them know that the location had changed, just because it's good to communicate stuff like that with the parents.  All of the parents were understanding, kind, and happy that we were looking out for their kid's safety.  What good parents!

I didn't want us to just give up on this, but I didn't know what choice we had.  Safety is important, but the World Youth Day Council had to know that, too.  All of the concerns we had, I was sure they had, too.  People who were smarter than us were working on this, and I knew that they could come up with a plan.  There had to be a way to keep everyone safe.

A pilgrimage is never boring!

World Youth Day - Day 5 (South Africa Mass)

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Waking up after the ordeal we had the night before was not an easy task.  But the rule remained, that we had to be out of the school by 8:00 am.  There wasn't much we could do about that.

I woke up at 6:30 am to learn that our building had run out of water.  One of the qualifications for housing was that it had to have bathrooms and showers.  But this morning, we had neither.  No water meant no showers.  No toilets.  And most annoyingly, no ability to brush teeth.  It was a difficult start to the day.  

However, God is good, and He gave us a little gift early on in the day.  It was one of the best things I've ever experienced, and I think that many people in my group would say the same.

We were going to get catechesis for the next three mornings at the place where we ate breakfast.  We had no idea who was going to teach or what the topics were about.  I think that we all figured that the teachings would go along with the theme, "Go make disciples of all nations."  We figured it'd be from an English speaking archbishop.  I know that some in our group were hoping it would be Cardinal Dolan.  It wasn't.  We actually never even saw him.

Now, we were assigned a catechesis location based on our housing location.  Let's just say that there weren't a huge number of Americans who chose simple accommodations.  There were some.  The Vermont group was among them.  The American/Vietnemese Youth were among them.  But most of the Americans were in Rio.  Which meant that we were with a lot of the african groups.  And it is because we were with them that we got to witness such beauty.

The Archbishop of South Africa, Charles, taught us on this day.  He told us the story of his vocation, that he was only 8 years old when he first felt called to the priesthood.  Although he remained confident in that call for many years, he struggled with it for much of his time in seminary.  He wanted to be a lawyer, diplomat, actor or anything.  It wasn't until a priest told him that Jesus doesn't need him, but wants him, that he went through with it.  He became a priest at age 25, and is now "63 years young."  

His talk was about personal crisis, which was why he told us the story of the Rich Young Man (Mark 10:17-27).  He said that it's the story of every person because, like the rich young man, we don't just want to be Christians, we want to be good Christians.  Nobody wants to say goodbye.  Young people want to live and love forever, and that's what the Christian life offers.  He kept breaking into the song "Lord I want to be like Jesus."  

Archbishop Charles

All of us are thirsting for life, he said.  But that thirst for life can only be satisfied in Christ.  The problem of the Rich Young Man is not just his possession, it's the question that he asks, "What more do I need to DO?"  Just like with Martha and Mary, which we heard earlier in the week, it's not about doing.  But Jesus' response to this man was simply that he loved him.  That's the answer that we seek.  That Jesus loves us.  When Jesus told the Rich Young Man to sell his possessions, the purpose wasn't really that possessions themselves are evil.  Jesus' goal was not to have the man just sell his possessions; His goal was to have the man follow Him, which he couldn't do with his stuff.  It was never really about possessions.  It was about the heart.

So, basically, there were three points that the archbishop wanted us to remember:  1.  You are hungry for life.  2.  Jesus is the answer.  3.  Come and follow Him.  He ended the talk singing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot."
 
After his talk was over, which we thought was amazing, we got to experience mass with this Archbishop.  I guess groups had signed up to lead the music and bring up the gifts, but I didn't remember that ever being announced.  The music of the mass was really cool and different compared to what we are used to.  I can't remember which song it was, but I believe it was the Alleluia, that Archbishop Charles had us redo, because we didn't give it enough life.  Honestly, it was a new song that I was unfamiliar with, so I wasn't able to sing along.  And, honestly, he was probably right, that even if I had known the song, I wouldn't have given it the enthusiasm he was looking for!

Thanks, Andrea, for the picture!

I honestly don't really remember the homily.  I know that he continued talking about the Rich Young Man, but I don't really remember what he said.  But that wasn't the best part.  During the bringing up of the gifts, we saw a group from South Africa stand up and go to pick up the gifts.  They lined up and paused for only just a moment, but I could tell in that moment that something amazing was about to happen.  And then it did.

Who did I steal this picture from?

They broke into song and dance, right there, carrying the gifts.  It wasn't a wild or crazy song or dance.   It was extremely reverent.  It was gorgeous.  I have no idea what the words of their song meant, but I can tell you without a doubt that they were joyful about presenting the gifts.  It was what true gift giving should look like.  You know, at Christmas, we spend money wrapping gifts, buying paper, bows and pretty things to put on it.  We take time to pick out the right things.  We put the gifts under the tree, in sight, not just because that's a place to store them, but so we can look at them and build anticipation.  Gift giving is exciting and we make it special.  Unless it's our gifts at mass.  So many people use that time as intermission.  Watch how many people get up to go to the bathroom, get a sip of water, or turn to their neighbor to talk.  But those are OUR gifts, mine and yours, and we are presenting them through those who carry them up, to God.  We could learn a lesson from our South African friends about reverence.

During the Eucharistic prayers (I think?), the South African group sang another song.  There were no instruments, just their voices.  It was perfectly done.  The dynamics.  The harmonies.  It was gorgeous.  

A teen told me later that she wished we could have what they have, and I told her that in order to have what they have, you have to have everything that goes with it.  The reason that they are the way that they are is because they have very difficult lives.  Sure, we could reproduce some of the things we saw them do.  We could hire a choir, we could research traditional zulu songs and copy the way that they brought up the gifts, but if we did that, we still wouldn't have what they have.  They have that because they have to create it themselves.

We live in a world where beauty is handed to us on a silver platter (a beautiful one).  We show up to mass and expect to have a piano, a guitar, maybe a drum, an organ, and a sound system to hear it not just well, but perfectly.  We can manipulate the volumes and place speakers where they will be the most effective.  We have it easy.  

But they don't.  Sure, the landscape in South Africa may be beautiful, and there are places that are very wealthy.  But theirs is a different kind of wealth, and theirs is a different kind of poverty.  In order for them to have beauty, they have to create it themselves.  If they don't create it, they don't have it.  And that is the difference.  It is something that they are taught and that they experience their entire lives, and it shapes and forms who they are and how they worship.  If you want what they've got, you have to take everything that comes with it, and I'm just not sure that many of us are willing to have that.  I mean, after only ten days in Brazil, sleeping on the floor, not being guaranteed showers or flushing toilets, or clean teeth, we were ready and willing to give that up to go home to our comfortable lives.  They went home to conditions similar, if not worse, to what we experienced in Brazil.  And that is what makes them beautiful.  They don't settle for the ugly lives they could have, but instead, they create the beautiful lives that they do have.

After Mass, we got special permission to return to the school because apparently the boys' room was flooded!  Someone left the sink in their room on (probably because there was no water when they turned it on), and the sink overflowed and flooded their room.  We were all really worried for the boys, but it turned out to be a non-event for everyone except the one who was almost immediately under the sink.  "Flooded," we discovered, meant a little stream of water running down the room.  In fact, most of the boys weren't affected at all.  One boy took all of damage himself.  :(

I was irritated at this point, not that we went back to the dorms to help the boys, but because we stayed there.  I was extremely hungry, and it was now after 2:00 pm.  We hadn't eaten dinner the night before, and all I had had for lunch the day before was french fries.  The breakfast kits they gave us were not exactly substantial, and so I was in a really bad mood.  I wanted to go get food, but there appeared to be no rush to do that.  I think that I could have held it together a bit more if I hadn't smacked my head really hard on a low doorway (only to be laughed at by the cleaning lady who saw me do it).  Everything looked weird for a moment after I did it.  Between the hunger, being cold, the exhaustion, the frustration and the hitting of my head, I lost it.  I started crying, and for the next 24 hours, I couldn't stop myself.  I tried techniques I had heard to stop myself from crying, like swallowing.  That worked for me for a while.  But I just needed to cry it out.

A family of pigs, just walking down the street.  Thanks, Christa, for the picture!

We finally went to get lunch at a buffet that supposedly had all kinds of grilled chicken, but I didn't really see any of that.  But the rice and beans were good, and the chicken that I did get was good.  It wasn't much, but it did the trick.

The group was a little weary of going back into Rio on this day, because of the adventures from the day before.  Everyone (almost) tried to get out of going.  Our plan was to not go into the city, but to stay back at the parish center, but people were sleeping there, and so we would have had to be quiet.  We are not good at quiet.  So we ended up making a last minute decision to go into the city anyway.  We were going to have to do it eventually.  We might as well face our fears now.

It was raining and we were cold, but we made it to the Vocations Fair in relatively good time.  Guess who was there?!  Our very own Archbishop Aquila!  He was in the middle of giving an interview when we saw him, and because this was World Youth Day, where boundaries disappear, we pretty much just crowded around him, awkwardly watching him finish his interview, and waited until he could pay attention to us!  Yup.  We did that.

Thanks, Christa, for the picture!

 He was so happy to see us!  Like, so happy!  It was really touching!  He talked with us and took pictures with us, and he gave us a special blessing!  It was really cute!  After we took pictures with him, he wanted a picture on his own, personal, camera, too!  So we took a picture for him, too!  He was so proud of his Colorado kids!  That was really special!
 

Thanks, Kim, for the picture!

We went into the room where they were having XLT, and watched a cute little nun tell her story, which was followed by a priest, who told his story.  A woman named Danielle Rose played a song she wrote about Saints which was beautiful.  She had an amazing voice.  When the band (The Matt and Jacob Band?) played, Danielle Rose played the violin, and the combination was amazing!  They did great work!

Afterwards, we had Adoration, and then praise and worship, and then we got to go home.  Everyone was in a much better mood on the way home.  The ferry ride was actually fun.  I think that, had we stayed back at the parish center like we were going to, we would have just been cranky and pouty the whole time.  But going to the Vocations Fair and the XLT was a really good choice.  Who would have known that Archbishop Aquila would be there?  I think that we needed to see him.  It was nice to have a piece of home surprise us here in Rio.  I kind of think that he was really lonely at that time, too, and was excited to have a piece of his home there, too!  It served all of us!

We were finally starting to get the hang of traveling around in Rio.  Getting into Niteroi was much easier, but we got lost once we got there.  Last night we were lost in Rio, tonight we are lost in Niteroi.  What would tomorrow bring?

We asked a girl to help us, who conveniently spoke English.  She walked us to our neighborhood but refused to enter the neighborhood because it was too dangerous.  That was not exactly comforting to hear.  She also gave us a strict warning not to ever walk alone in there.  We took her advice, and quickly (and quietly) walked back to the school where we were safe.  Spirits were high again, and things were looking up.

Again, I was asleep maybe one minute after walking through those doors.  Complete, utter, exhaustion, but a little more hope!