Being Single Isn't Easy

I love the line in the movie "The Princess Bride," when the Man in Black says, "Life is pain, Highness.  Anyone who says differently is selling something."  Well that's how I feel when people write blogs or act as if being single is so great, and that it's not difficult at all.  I always want to ask them, "What are you selling?"

Maybe it is easy for them.  Maybe it is fun for them.  But let me tell you what my experience of the single life is:  it's difficult.  It's lonely.  It's scary.

Now I'm not saying that the married life IS easy.  I can't comment on that because I have no experience being married.  I can tell you, though, what I've heard, and it's that being married is also difficult.  And lonely.  And scary.

So where does that leave us?  Well, quite plainly, it leaves us with the knowledge that life is just generally difficult.  And lonely.  And scary.  But that doesn't mean that it's bad.

Yes, it's true...I don't want to be single.  I would love to be in a romantic relationship, be swept off my feet and ride off in the sunset on a horse with the one I love.  Ok, maybe not that last part; that sounds a bit too cheesy for my taste (again, not that it's bad, just not my taste).  But in fact, I do want to be in a relationship.

But if being single is difficult for you, it's ok.  And just because some people find it easy, fun and exciting, doesn't mean that it has to be that way for everyone.  We are all different, and so we all experience singleness differently.  If you are single and long to be in a relationship, than I encourage you to pray about those feelings.  All challenging things in our lives can give glory to God.  I promise you that if you use those feelings to bring Him glory, that it will change you.  No, being single might not feel any better.  But at least it will have purpose.

Please don't let anyone make you feel bad for feeling bad about being single.  Hiding, suppressing or ignoring our feelings isn't what gives glory to God.  It's ok to feel what you feel.  It's not ok to let those feelings control you.  To wallow in them.  The sit in them.  To act out because of them.  All kinds of Saints have experienced sadness and loneliness and anger, and given that to God to give Him glory.  Think about Saint Therese of Lisieux who "smiles through her tears."  That doesn't mean she doesn't feel the sadness.  She does, though, smile through it.

Through all of the things in your life, happy things, sad things, frustrating things, scary things, lonely things and lovely things, one goal should you keep:  use it to give glory to God, and all will be well.