Two days ago, we experienced a big snow storm. Had this storm taken place on a weekday, we'd probably be out of school and work for the day. But, alas, it happened on Sunday. And because it was a spring snow in Colorado, it was practically melted away by Monday. How did you feel about not getting a snow day? Disappointment!
This is a topic that people don't really teach about very often. But because it is such a common experience for so many people, and because there are holy ways of dealing with it, and unholy ways of dealing with it, it's important to talk about.
When I was in high school, I wanted so badly to fit in. Don't we all? I suppose that this wasn't just high school Krissy's desire. It's been my desire for my entire life. And that's exactly how it's supposed to be. Scripture says "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). In fact, God creates everything and promptly states that it is good. The one and only time that He declares that something is NOT good, is when man is alone. Thus, God knows and knew from the very beginning that we are not made to be alone. And that is why our desire is to fit in!
Well, I was no different. I wanted to fit in, and so I did things to make that happen. Like, I tried out for school plays, for choir, for cheerleading, and for everything that I could try out for. Unfortunately, I wasn't talented at anything. I didn't make the play in junior high. I didn't make the play in high school. I didn't make concert choir (no shocker there!) the first time I tried out. I didn't make cheerleading. And let me tell you, the disappointment that I felt when I read these lists time and time again, and saw my friends' names, but not my own, was intense. It turned into something horrible. I let myself believe that because my teachers had reasons (that I thought were stupid) for "holding me back," that I was somehow worthless. This, of course, is not true.
Disappointment can come from many things. We have to deal with disappointing things every single day of our lives. Whether it's that the cafeteria is out of the food we were hoping to eat, a parent promised they'd be on time to pick you up and they weren't, you didn't make the team you wanted to be on, or worse, it is a reality we face daily.
I know. That news can be disappointing in itself.
Disappointment comes from the fact that you have an expectation, and that expectation is not fulfilled. The expectation could be that you don't get a flat tire on the way to work, or that you make the team, or that your school is closed due to the snow. It's near impossible to rid ourselves of our expectations. I might even go so far as to say that it is impossible to rid them from our lives. Could you imagine, if we tried to do it, how disappointed we'd be when we failed?
The most important thing is to take life as is happens, without letting our emotions muddle things up. For instance, if your parent forgets to pick you up, does it help to get emotional about it? To cry or rant? How does that help your situation at that particular moment? The answer: it doesn't. It just makes you feel even more miserable, but it doesn't make your parent get there any faster.
Emotions can be dangerous. They can cloud our thinking and paralyze us. They can make us believe things that aren't true. Like, that I'm worthless because I didn't make the cheerleading team. Well, of course that isn't true. It just means that I needed some practice before I could be a cheerleader.
The important thing is to take life as it comes. And if you have an emotion about it, to recognize that emotion, understand where it is coming from (that you had an expectation that wasn't met), and then act on it if you can.
And trust God. He knows your heart. He knows your mind. He knows when you are frustrated and disappointed. It's not a shock to Him. But remember that God wants what is best for you at all times. But just because something doesn't go your way doesn't mean that you should sin. It doesn't mean that you should take His name in vain, or that you should be disrespectful to your parents.
Remaining holy during disappointment is key. Moses did. Think about how disappointing his life was! After spending years and years with the people who constantly complained about him, he got them all the way to the Promised Land, and then God told him that he wasn't allowed to go in himself! He had to stand at the top of Mount Nebo and look at it, but he didn't get to enter. That must have been extremely disappointing. And yet, he maintained his trust in God, and thousands of years later, he got to into the Promised Land at the Transfiguration. God let him go in, just not yet! That's comforting. But, Moses had to be obedient first!
And remember these important words from Saint Paul, who was imprisoned and facing execution while writing these amazing and positive words, "Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God" (Philippians 4:6).
The result? Well, I didn't make the cheerleading team, and at the time, I thought that meant that my life was over! But, it turns out that I was in it for all the wrong reasons. I didn't want to be a cheerleader because I was passionate about cheerleading. I wanted to be a cheerleader because I wanted to be cool. When I became a swimmer (which did not require that I try out), I found that I was passionate about swimming. Cheerleaders could not be swimmers because the seasons overlapped, so I wouldn't have been able to do what I loved. Look at the big picture. So your plans didn't work out the first time. Does that mean you give up on them for the future? Absolutely not. But disappointment is a wonderful opportunity to look at and reevaluate your motivations, your desires, your dreams and your goals. You might find that you still want the same thing, and the resistance that you are experiencing to obtaining that thing will only make you stronger. You may discover that it is actually not what you really wanted, and that there is something better for you in the long run. Don't quit. Don't give up. It's all good, if you let God be a part of it.
Reflect on this:
1. Who are some people in scripture who had to face disappointment? How did they respond to their disappointing circumstances?
2. Talk about a time when you were disappointed. How did you react to that disappointment? What are some things you could/should have done differently?
3.
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