Being Catholic sure isn't easy these days, is it? So many people are
so against the teachings of the Church. And, granted, to be fair, we
haven't always done a great job of promoting, teaching, living or
proving our values and beliefs in correct or holy ways. That is a sad
truth that I will admit to having done myself. I am not proud of the fact that I have been
hypocritical. I have been angry and acted as such. I have (ACCIDENTALLY and UNKNOWINGLY) said things that go against Church teaching (especially in my younger days). And, sadly, I will probably do all of these things again.
However,
flawed as Catholics are (like any group is perfect), the fact that we
are flawed is no reason to change Church teaching. It frustrates me
that people, Catholics included, are so vocal about this topic.
Asking the Pope to change Church teaching is like asking a scientist to change the law of gravity. "I do't really like gravity," one might say. "Please go ahead and change the law of gravity, so that I can fly around at will. I don't really enjoy being tied down to the Earth." This, of course, is ludicrous. And yet, asking the Pope and the Bishops to change Church teaching isn't ludicrous to most people.
See, science didn't invent the law of gravity. It simply recognizes the law. But we can't change nature. Nor should we! Could you imagine the consequences of such an action! We'd lose our atmosphere and, therefore, all of human life. All life. And that'd be the smallest consequence of them all!
A misunderstanding that people have regarding the Church is that it contains our laws that we have created. But that is not the case. They aren't the Pope's laws. They are God's laws. And if any Pope was ever to "change" the laws of the Church, it would be the same thing as a scientist saying, "Ok, I decided to change the law of gravity. There is no more gravity." Well, if he said that and you tried to jump off a cliff, you'd still die. The scientist can make that claim all he wants, but it doesn't change the reality.
The "rules" of the Church are not my rules, or a priest's rules, or the Pope's rules. They are God's rules. And those laws are created and taught so that we don't try to jump off a spiritual cliff, which would lead to our inevitable spiritual deaths.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Women's Wednesday - The Problem with "No Thank You"
"No thank you." We women sure are polite when rejecting love. We have all grown up learning that it is somehow wrong to let people serve us. The conditioning was more subtle than we realize (hence the word subtle), and yet, it seemed so obvious. But think about it: how often do we reject compliments? How often do we reject little acts of kindness? How often do we accept gifts? And what are the reasons for our rejection? That we don't believe compliments. That we don't want to "put anyone out." That we don't want to use anyone. Well, that may be the way you feel, but it's certainly not something that you should act upon.
So many women can't stand the idea of anybody serving them and their needs. There is a great scene in the oldish movie One Fine Day with George Clooney and Michelle Pfiefer, where she has her hands full of stuff, her young son trailing behind her, and a man tries to help her. He says, "Let me help you." She says, "It's okay. I can get it." He says back, "No, no. Please, please." Angry now, she says, "Really! I got it. I got it. Okay, okay. Sweetie, come on." Quietly, the foreign artist says under his breath, "Stupid American woman." Her son, Sammy, hears him and say, "That guy called you stupid," to which his mother replies, "Well, I am stupid sometimes, honey, but I'd rather be stupid than sorry. Come on."
This is just one movie scene that depicts this type of thinking. I'd rather be stupid than sorry. I'd rather be independent, like Destiny's Child sang about back in the 1990's:
Why is it such a bad thing to accept love? Why is it such a sign of strength to be independent and self sufficient? People would rather give love than receive it. But if everybody in the world refused to accept love, than nobody would have anybody to give love. Love can't just be given. I has to be received.
We love to over-complicate love. We love to turn it into something bad, we love to call receiving love "using." There is such a thing as using, but that looks completely different than love. That looks mean. That looks lonely. The giver will know that they are being used when they recipient isn't grateful for their gifts. When the person expects gifts. It is then that the the love turns into sin. But a person who opens a door for you is just trying to do something nice. A person who gives you a gift for no reason at all, or buys you a lunch, or lends you their car when you need it, is just trying to love you.
Accepting love is an act of love itself. I feel so good when I can do something really wonderful for someone. But if that person doesn't let me do that thing, than I am denied the opportunity to have that good feeling. Let yourself be loved.
When someone wants to do something for you, some kindness, just say "Thank you," and mean it. Be grateful, and be loved. It's about time we started saying "Yes" to true, authentic, real love.
So many women can't stand the idea of anybody serving them and their needs. There is a great scene in the oldish movie One Fine Day with George Clooney and Michelle Pfiefer, where she has her hands full of stuff, her young son trailing behind her, and a man tries to help her. He says, "Let me help you." She says, "It's okay. I can get it." He says back, "No, no. Please, please." Angry now, she says, "Really! I got it. I got it. Okay, okay. Sweetie, come on." Quietly, the foreign artist says under his breath, "Stupid American woman." Her son, Sammy, hears him and say, "That guy called you stupid," to which his mother replies, "Well, I am stupid sometimes, honey, but I'd rather be stupid than sorry. Come on."
This is just one movie scene that depicts this type of thinking. I'd rather be stupid than sorry. I'd rather be independent, like Destiny's Child sang about back in the 1990's:
All the women who are independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me
- Destiny's Child Lyrics "Independent Woman"
Why is it such a bad thing to accept love? Why is it such a sign of strength to be independent and self sufficient? People would rather give love than receive it. But if everybody in the world refused to accept love, than nobody would have anybody to give love. Love can't just be given. I has to be received.
We love to over-complicate love. We love to turn it into something bad, we love to call receiving love "using." There is such a thing as using, but that looks completely different than love. That looks mean. That looks lonely. The giver will know that they are being used when they recipient isn't grateful for their gifts. When the person expects gifts. It is then that the the love turns into sin. But a person who opens a door for you is just trying to do something nice. A person who gives you a gift for no reason at all, or buys you a lunch, or lends you their car when you need it, is just trying to love you.
Accepting love is an act of love itself. I feel so good when I can do something really wonderful for someone. But if that person doesn't let me do that thing, than I am denied the opportunity to have that good feeling. Let yourself be loved.
When someone wants to do something for you, some kindness, just say "Thank you," and mean it. Be grateful, and be loved. It's about time we started saying "Yes" to true, authentic, real love.
Friday, February 21, 2014
To the Top
I remember my first experience with Eucharistic Adoration very clearly. I was on a retreat. It was my first time going on retreat. I had never even heard of Eucharistic Adoration before. It was the first retreat that my youth minister ever led as a youth minister, and I was a little high school freshmen, not really sure of what I was getting myself into by attending this retreat. It was a huge leap of faith for me to go, but I really did want to attend that weekend.
I don't know if the team just failed at giving a clear explanation of what Adoration was all about, or if I just wasn't paying attention, but I thought that it was the strangest experience. I had no real idea about what was going on. I didn't understand it, or the reactions that everyone else was having, or the reactions that I was having, but I did understand that what was going on was huge.
So I was a little bit afraid. I think that was an appropriate reaction, too. I wasn't afraid in the sense that I believed I was in danger. And I wouldn't necessarily say that I was in "awe," either. I just knew that what I was looking at wasn't just a piece of bread in a monstrance. I knew that Jesus was present, and that His presence meant power. And power is always scary.
Adoration is still a bit of a scary thing for me. I am surrounded by people in my life who tend to have very powerful experiences with Adoration, and, well, I am just not one of those people. But I still have good experiences.
To me, Adoration is a lot like holding a sleeping new born baby. A baby too small to really do anything on its own. It can't sit. It can't talk. It just sits in my arms, soft, gentle, and asleep. As I hold that baby, I don't necessarily have to do any action to experience love. It is through the quiet and the calm that I receive my peace. It's not because of the words that the baby says, because it says no words. It is not through its actions or its motivations for those actions. All that has to happen is that the baby sleeps, and I get the amazing privilege of being with it and holding it during its slumber. Babies are true miracles.
This is my experience of Adoration. When I first heard what St. John Vianney said about Adoration: "I look at him and he looks at me," I was astonished at his description, for his experience was the same as mine. I'm sure that I experience amazing works from Christ during my time in Adoration, things that aren't obvious in my life. But I know without a doubt that I look at Jesus, and that He looks at me, and that itself is good. That, itself, is enough. Is there anything better than to be truly, purely, perfectly, and gloriously seen by the one you love? By the one who loves you back? There is nothing greater.
I don't know if the team just failed at giving a clear explanation of what Adoration was all about, or if I just wasn't paying attention, but I thought that it was the strangest experience. I had no real idea about what was going on. I didn't understand it, or the reactions that everyone else was having, or the reactions that I was having, but I did understand that what was going on was huge.
So I was a little bit afraid. I think that was an appropriate reaction, too. I wasn't afraid in the sense that I believed I was in danger. And I wouldn't necessarily say that I was in "awe," either. I just knew that what I was looking at wasn't just a piece of bread in a monstrance. I knew that Jesus was present, and that His presence meant power. And power is always scary.
Adoration is still a bit of a scary thing for me. I am surrounded by people in my life who tend to have very powerful experiences with Adoration, and, well, I am just not one of those people. But I still have good experiences.
To me, Adoration is a lot like holding a sleeping new born baby. A baby too small to really do anything on its own. It can't sit. It can't talk. It just sits in my arms, soft, gentle, and asleep. As I hold that baby, I don't necessarily have to do any action to experience love. It is through the quiet and the calm that I receive my peace. It's not because of the words that the baby says, because it says no words. It is not through its actions or its motivations for those actions. All that has to happen is that the baby sleeps, and I get the amazing privilege of being with it and holding it during its slumber. Babies are true miracles.
This is my experience of Adoration. When I first heard what St. John Vianney said about Adoration: "I look at him and he looks at me," I was astonished at his description, for his experience was the same as mine. I'm sure that I experience amazing works from Christ during my time in Adoration, things that aren't obvious in my life. But I know without a doubt that I look at Jesus, and that He looks at me, and that itself is good. That, itself, is enough. Is there anything better than to be truly, purely, perfectly, and gloriously seen by the one you love? By the one who loves you back? There is nothing greater.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Women's Wednesday - Being Single the Right Way
I have (recently) said that being single is not easy, and I stick to that claim. However, there is a right way to be single and a wrong way. Believe me, more often than not, I am the wrong kind of single. So don't go calling my a hypocrite just because I can dish out advice that I'm not great at taking myself. Like I said before, being single is not easy.
So even though I'm not great at taking my own advice, I am going to give it. Hopefully, by writing this, it will sink in for me, too, and I will begin to take my own advice! So, here are my Top Ten ways to be single:
10. Be pure. Ok, it seems like this is impossible these days. It's difficult to not believe the lie that nobody will date you if you want to wait until marriage. It's like, marriage might be my Vocation, but I'll never get married if I want to stay pure. So if Vocations are supposed to lead us to holiness, and being impure is not holy, how do we win? Well, have faith. If you are going to marry that person, then they will be happy to wait for you. If they are truly going to bring you to holiness in your marriage, than they should start now, before the marriage, by helping to protect your purity. If, however, they aren't going to protect your holiness now, than what's going to be so different after those vows are taken? Not much. Not much at all.
9. Have friends. It sounds obvious, doesn't it? But too often the reason that a person is single is because they are a work-aholic. And then they don't have time for friends, either. Work is good and important and necessary, but God told us to rest for a reason. If you're lonely while you're single, friendship may not remove the longing for romance, but it will help you to be less lonely in general. Surround yourself with loved ones. Have girls who are your friends and guys who are your friends. There is nothing more attractive than a person who loves.
8. Read the Bible. If you ever start to despair that God won't answer your prayers for a relationship, or that He's forgotten you, than pick up your Bible and open it to pretty much any story with a woman involved (pretty much any story, but not all of them). God's timing really isn't our timing, and it is obvious in Scripture. BUT, just because God doesn't give us what we ask for the very second we ask for it, doesn't mean that He's not going to answer our prayers. It doesn't mean that He has forgotten us. Read, re-read, re-read again, memorize and remember those stories.
7. Pray for your spouse. I frequently wonder what my spouse is doing "right now." Where is he? What is he thinking? Is he happy? Is he sad? Whenever I have those thoughts, I pray for my husband. I hope that he is praying for me, too. Pray for your spouse regularly. Ask God to bless him.
6. Pray about things besides your spouse. Don't forget that there is more than one type of prayer. And don't forget that there is more than one person who needs prayer. Don't obsess with just that one prayer, but open your eyes to how good God is to you always. Praise Him. Thank Him. Over prayers of petition for other people. Ask for His advice for other areas in your life. Ask God what you can be doing right now to best glorify Him. Pray for your spouse, but don't limit your spiritual life to that one thing.
5. Talk about other things than being single. Like before, don't just talk about how difficult it is being single, how sad you are that you're single, what you're doing to do find someone else, or how nobody is ever going to love you because you're too (fat, stupid, annoying, ugly, pimply, sick, weird, etc). Nobody wants to sit and listen to you complain about these things all the time. And nobody wants to listen to you obsess about how great you are at being single. There's got to be more to you than just the fact that you're single. Prove it. Talk about other things.
4. Watch movies and TV shows, read books and listen to music that will inspire you. Some movies and songs make me, personally, really sad. I see these couples who are so cute and perfect (and, therefore, annoying) and I think about how I wish I had those things. I become jealous of fictional characters. Yikes! How ridiculous! If you finish watching romantic movies feeling sad, it's bad. If you leave feeling inspired, hopeful, or good, than keep it in your collection! If it makes you feel that way now, think how much greater it will be once you find your spouse!
3. Have an interesting life. You don't want to meet a really great guy and have absolutely nothing to talk about with him. I'm not saying that you should just live adventure after adventure after adventure. It gets boring to listen to people only tell one type of story, or have opinions about one type of thing. Learn new things. Do new things. Experience new things. And you'll find that this not only makes it easier to meet your spouse, but that you are more fulfilled, too.
2. Don't do things so that you can meet your spouse. Do things for yourself. Don't worry at every concert, lecture, hike, night out at the movies, etc., if you're going to meet someone there. Go to have fun. For yourself. Consciously check yourself before you go, and occasionally while you're there, to see why you're behaving the way that you are. You don't need a guy by your side to have fun. That's not a good life. Just have fun now.
1. Be joyful. It's obvious, and not obvious. But joy is not a feeling. It's a decision. It's a lifestyle. Be someone who sees the good in life. And that might take practice at first, but if you do it enough, you'll form a habit and it'll come naturally. Relax. Don't take things too seriously that don't need to be taken seriously. Live a life of love, peace and joy, and romance will find you.
So even though I'm not great at taking my own advice, I am going to give it. Hopefully, by writing this, it will sink in for me, too, and I will begin to take my own advice! So, here are my Top Ten ways to be single:
10. Be pure. Ok, it seems like this is impossible these days. It's difficult to not believe the lie that nobody will date you if you want to wait until marriage. It's like, marriage might be my Vocation, but I'll never get married if I want to stay pure. So if Vocations are supposed to lead us to holiness, and being impure is not holy, how do we win? Well, have faith. If you are going to marry that person, then they will be happy to wait for you. If they are truly going to bring you to holiness in your marriage, than they should start now, before the marriage, by helping to protect your purity. If, however, they aren't going to protect your holiness now, than what's going to be so different after those vows are taken? Not much. Not much at all.
9. Have friends. It sounds obvious, doesn't it? But too often the reason that a person is single is because they are a work-aholic. And then they don't have time for friends, either. Work is good and important and necessary, but God told us to rest for a reason. If you're lonely while you're single, friendship may not remove the longing for romance, but it will help you to be less lonely in general. Surround yourself with loved ones. Have girls who are your friends and guys who are your friends. There is nothing more attractive than a person who loves.
8. Read the Bible. If you ever start to despair that God won't answer your prayers for a relationship, or that He's forgotten you, than pick up your Bible and open it to pretty much any story with a woman involved (pretty much any story, but not all of them). God's timing really isn't our timing, and it is obvious in Scripture. BUT, just because God doesn't give us what we ask for the very second we ask for it, doesn't mean that He's not going to answer our prayers. It doesn't mean that He has forgotten us. Read, re-read, re-read again, memorize and remember those stories.
7. Pray for your spouse. I frequently wonder what my spouse is doing "right now." Where is he? What is he thinking? Is he happy? Is he sad? Whenever I have those thoughts, I pray for my husband. I hope that he is praying for me, too. Pray for your spouse regularly. Ask God to bless him.
6. Pray about things besides your spouse. Don't forget that there is more than one type of prayer. And don't forget that there is more than one person who needs prayer. Don't obsess with just that one prayer, but open your eyes to how good God is to you always. Praise Him. Thank Him. Over prayers of petition for other people. Ask for His advice for other areas in your life. Ask God what you can be doing right now to best glorify Him. Pray for your spouse, but don't limit your spiritual life to that one thing.
5. Talk about other things than being single. Like before, don't just talk about how difficult it is being single, how sad you are that you're single, what you're doing to do find someone else, or how nobody is ever going to love you because you're too (fat, stupid, annoying, ugly, pimply, sick, weird, etc). Nobody wants to sit and listen to you complain about these things all the time. And nobody wants to listen to you obsess about how great you are at being single. There's got to be more to you than just the fact that you're single. Prove it. Talk about other things.
4. Watch movies and TV shows, read books and listen to music that will inspire you. Some movies and songs make me, personally, really sad. I see these couples who are so cute and perfect (and, therefore, annoying) and I think about how I wish I had those things. I become jealous of fictional characters. Yikes! How ridiculous! If you finish watching romantic movies feeling sad, it's bad. If you leave feeling inspired, hopeful, or good, than keep it in your collection! If it makes you feel that way now, think how much greater it will be once you find your spouse!
3. Have an interesting life. You don't want to meet a really great guy and have absolutely nothing to talk about with him. I'm not saying that you should just live adventure after adventure after adventure. It gets boring to listen to people only tell one type of story, or have opinions about one type of thing. Learn new things. Do new things. Experience new things. And you'll find that this not only makes it easier to meet your spouse, but that you are more fulfilled, too.
2. Don't do things so that you can meet your spouse. Do things for yourself. Don't worry at every concert, lecture, hike, night out at the movies, etc., if you're going to meet someone there. Go to have fun. For yourself. Consciously check yourself before you go, and occasionally while you're there, to see why you're behaving the way that you are. You don't need a guy by your side to have fun. That's not a good life. Just have fun now.
1. Be joyful. It's obvious, and not obvious. But joy is not a feeling. It's a decision. It's a lifestyle. Be someone who sees the good in life. And that might take practice at first, but if you do it enough, you'll form a habit and it'll come naturally. Relax. Don't take things too seriously that don't need to be taken seriously. Live a life of love, peace and joy, and romance will find you.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Being Single on St. Valentine's Day
Here's a humble confession for me to make: I have never had a Valentine. Not once. And many people in my position would become very bitter about the holiday because of that fact. However, in my opinion, Valentine's Day is one of the best holidays out there! But I have heard it said SOOOOO many times that Valentine's Day is just a Hallmark Holiday and that we shouldn't need a holiday to help us to remember to tell people that we love them.
But so what?! You're really going to let someone dictate to you how to celebrate Valentine's Day? Are you really going to be one of those people? If you don't like it, then do something else. But don't NOT celebrate love just because Hallmark is making a pretty penny off the day.
Love should be celebrated every day, that's true. So why would we purposefully not celebrate it on Valentine's Day? You know who wins when you do that? Satan! That's right! If he can get in your head and take your attention off of love, then he wins that battle.
St. Valentine was a real human being, who truly believed in love (God is love), who truly believed in the Sacrament of Marriage (which is a Sacrament, not a legal institution), and he truly did die because he believed so strongly in the necessity of the Sacrament which had become illegal in Rome that he performed marriages in secret, was later caught and killed for performing marriages! What a tragedy it is that we are so embittered by the holiday now-of-days. I guarantee that St. Valentine would be heartbroken to know that his name was associated with such hatred. He died for love. And sometimes I feel like, when we "hate" Valentine's Day, we martyr him all over again.
I have a lot of love in my life. I have friends, family, co-workers, teens, volunteers and parishioners at the church I attend/work at who love me and whom I love in return. And it's good, necessary, and important to show them that love every day, even on St. Valentine's Day.
I refuse to let this holiday make me bitter. I refuse to be sad simply because I do not have romantic love in my life at this moment in time. I may not have romance, but I have love. And I will celebrate that love on this very important day.
Will you be my Valentine? Will you show me that I'm important to you, and that you love me? I hope that I can do my best doing just that to everyone I meet today. Please join me.
But so what?! You're really going to let someone dictate to you how to celebrate Valentine's Day? Are you really going to be one of those people? If you don't like it, then do something else. But don't NOT celebrate love just because Hallmark is making a pretty penny off the day.
Love should be celebrated every day, that's true. So why would we purposefully not celebrate it on Valentine's Day? You know who wins when you do that? Satan! That's right! If he can get in your head and take your attention off of love, then he wins that battle.
St. Valentine was a real human being, who truly believed in love (God is love), who truly believed in the Sacrament of Marriage (which is a Sacrament, not a legal institution), and he truly did die because he believed so strongly in the necessity of the Sacrament which had become illegal in Rome that he performed marriages in secret, was later caught and killed for performing marriages! What a tragedy it is that we are so embittered by the holiday now-of-days. I guarantee that St. Valentine would be heartbroken to know that his name was associated with such hatred. He died for love. And sometimes I feel like, when we "hate" Valentine's Day, we martyr him all over again.
I have a lot of love in my life. I have friends, family, co-workers, teens, volunteers and parishioners at the church I attend/work at who love me and whom I love in return. And it's good, necessary, and important to show them that love every day, even on St. Valentine's Day.
I refuse to let this holiday make me bitter. I refuse to be sad simply because I do not have romantic love in my life at this moment in time. I may not have romance, but I have love. And I will celebrate that love on this very important day.
Will you be my Valentine? Will you show me that I'm important to you, and that you love me? I hope that I can do my best doing just that to everyone I meet today. Please join me.
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Being Single Isn't Easy
I love the line in the movie "The Princess Bride," when the Man in Black says, "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." Well that's how I feel when people write blogs or act as if being single is so great, and that it's not difficult at all. I always want to ask them, "What are you selling?"
Maybe it is easy for them. Maybe it is fun for them. But let me tell you what my experience of the single life is: it's difficult. It's lonely. It's scary.
Now I'm not saying that the married life IS easy. I can't comment on that because I have no experience being married. I can tell you, though, what I've heard, and it's that being married is also difficult. And lonely. And scary.
So where does that leave us? Well, quite plainly, it leaves us with the knowledge that life is just generally difficult. And lonely. And scary. But that doesn't mean that it's bad.
Yes, it's true...I don't want to be single. I would love to be in a romantic relationship, be swept off my feet and ride off in the sunset on a horse with the one I love. Ok, maybe not that last part; that sounds a bit too cheesy for my taste (again, not that it's bad, just not my taste). But in fact, I do want to be in a relationship.
But if being single is difficult for you, it's ok. And just because some people find it easy, fun and exciting, doesn't mean that it has to be that way for everyone. We are all different, and so we all experience singleness differently. If you are single and long to be in a relationship, than I encourage you to pray about those feelings. All challenging things in our lives can give glory to God. I promise you that if you use those feelings to bring Him glory, that it will change you. No, being single might not feel any better. But at least it will have purpose.
Please don't let anyone make you feel bad for feeling bad about being single. Hiding, suppressing or ignoring our feelings isn't what gives glory to God. It's ok to feel what you feel. It's not ok to let those feelings control you. To wallow in them. The sit in them. To act out because of them. All kinds of Saints have experienced sadness and loneliness and anger, and given that to God to give Him glory. Think about Saint Therese of Lisieux who "smiles through her tears." That doesn't mean she doesn't feel the sadness. She does, though, smile through it.
Through all of the things in your life, happy things, sad things, frustrating things, scary things, lonely things and lovely things, one goal should you keep: use it to give glory to God, and all will be well.
Maybe it is easy for them. Maybe it is fun for them. But let me tell you what my experience of the single life is: it's difficult. It's lonely. It's scary.
Now I'm not saying that the married life IS easy. I can't comment on that because I have no experience being married. I can tell you, though, what I've heard, and it's that being married is also difficult. And lonely. And scary.
So where does that leave us? Well, quite plainly, it leaves us with the knowledge that life is just generally difficult. And lonely. And scary. But that doesn't mean that it's bad.
Yes, it's true...I don't want to be single. I would love to be in a romantic relationship, be swept off my feet and ride off in the sunset on a horse with the one I love. Ok, maybe not that last part; that sounds a bit too cheesy for my taste (again, not that it's bad, just not my taste). But in fact, I do want to be in a relationship.
But if being single is difficult for you, it's ok. And just because some people find it easy, fun and exciting, doesn't mean that it has to be that way for everyone. We are all different, and so we all experience singleness differently. If you are single and long to be in a relationship, than I encourage you to pray about those feelings. All challenging things in our lives can give glory to God. I promise you that if you use those feelings to bring Him glory, that it will change you. No, being single might not feel any better. But at least it will have purpose.
Please don't let anyone make you feel bad for feeling bad about being single. Hiding, suppressing or ignoring our feelings isn't what gives glory to God. It's ok to feel what you feel. It's not ok to let those feelings control you. To wallow in them. The sit in them. To act out because of them. All kinds of Saints have experienced sadness and loneliness and anger, and given that to God to give Him glory. Think about Saint Therese of Lisieux who "smiles through her tears." That doesn't mean she doesn't feel the sadness. She does, though, smile through it.
Through all of the things in your life, happy things, sad things, frustrating things, scary things, lonely things and lovely things, one goal should you keep: use it to give glory to God, and all will be well.
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