Inner Beauty

I had a friend in college who I really admired for countless reasons.  I was so proud of myself, even then, because I was never envious of her, I simply admired her.  Not only was she one of the most physically beautiful people, but she had such a good heart.  She could have lived her college years in a completely self-centered, unholy way.  But she didn't.  Despite surmounting pressure to give in to a certain lifestyle, she lived for Christ.  Those people couldn't break her.

I really admired that in her.  I lived my life for Christ (mostly) through college, too, but she did it differently.  I surrounded myself solely with my church friends, who never pressured me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with.  If I said that something went against what I believed or stood for, the issue was dropped and we found other ways to have fun.  I would do the same for them.  This girl would hang out with us occasionally, but she had her other friends, too.  She allowed herself to be ridiculed, mocked and teased, in order to give witness to them about who she was and what she stood for.  And the best part about her was that I never saw her get angry, hurt or upset at them for their unfair attitudes towards her.  She always accepted it with a smile, knowing that their bad behavior wasn't really about her, but about something internal in them.  She always behaved with such poise and grace.  As if she wasn't beautiful enough, she had such pure inner beauty.  Her heart was good, strong, and at peace with Christ.  I could see that so clearly in her.

I have to admit that, though I was not jealous of her, I did want what she had.  But I didn't want it in a jealous way.  I wanted it in a holy way.  I wanted to be that strong in my faith - that I could face a mocking crowd, standing firm, with a glowing smile.  I want that, because that's what Christ wants for me, too.  He wants to be our internal peacemaker.  He wants to give us that strength, that fortitude.  If He wants that for me, well so do I!

I don't keep in touch with her anymore, and that makes me sad.  I know that she is now married with at least two kids.  She seemed happy when I last heard from her.

But internal beauty is just as relative (oh how I HATE that word) as external beauty.  What I saw in her was beautiful to me, but it wasn't beautiful to everyone.  Some people really hated her for her beliefs.  Some people really thought that she was weird or bad for how she lived her life.  They didn't see beauty at all.

I would like to encourage you to not strive for beauty (external or internal), because if you do that, you're never going to be yourself.  If that's your goal, you're going to have to change something about yourself eventually, because somebody, somewhere, is not going to see beauty when they look at you.  Strive to be yourself. Who are you?  What do you believe in?  If you do that, you may not appear beautiful to everyone, but you will appear beautiful to Christ, and He's all that really matters anyway!