I can be kind of mean sometimes. I have to preface this post with that sentence because, you're going to see me be mean today. I am, honestly, ashamed of my meanness. But, alas, it happens. And it's going to look like I am proud of it because of the fact that I am writing this today. Also, another disclaimer is that this is not exactly a "Catholic" post. It's just something that I think.
I once "Unfriended" someone from Facebook because they responded to a post that I wrote about hating fall with this hashtag, "#campaigntoendfallhate." Like, I am not allowed to have the personal opinion that fall is annoying. That I am not allowed to dislike fall. I'm sorry, but since when am I not allowed to not enjoy a season of the year?
Granted, that "friendship" was bit of a joke always anyway. That girl hurt my feelings a lot of the time with insensitive, un-compassionate comments. Everything was always about her, and sometimes I needed things to about me. Although our Facebook friendship ended with this comment, there was, in fact, a lot of things that contributed to the demise of our friendship. But it was still a mean reason for me to un-friend her.
Anyway, I hate fall. And one of the reasons that I hate fall is that it turns people into pretentious snobs. Like my friend. I tried explaining to her that I don't like that I always get sick, and that I don't like Pumpkin flavored things, and that I am not a big fan of wet leaves, and that I don't have cute clothes or money to buy cute clothes (which are very expensive), and so I don't get to participate in fall-clothes season. And even if I could, I would feel self-conscious and ugly because someone would inevitably tell me that something didn't look good or that it didn't match or something. And I'd be embarrassed and hate myself and never want to come back outside again.
Plus, fall means that winter is just around the corner. And I hate winter. I hate it so much. I dread it. It makes me sad. It makes me angry. It makes me frustrated. I don't like the snow. I don't like the cold. I don't like wind. I don't like worrying about pipes bursting, or cars crashing, or tree branches falling, or slipping on ice. I. HATE. WINTER. Which is another opinion that I'm not allowed to have.
When I tell someone that I hate winter, they say, "Why do you live in Colorado, then?" When I try to preemptively explain that I'd like to move away from Colorado so that they don't ask that question, they say, "Well where would you move?" No answer I give satisfies. "Florida is too humid," "Arizona is too dry," "Hawaii is so expensive." There are bugs and old people or young partiers or it's too hot or whatever. So, they always make me feel stuck here. They always make me feel trapped.
Sometimes I try to suppress these feelings, but, alas, that isn't healthy, either.
I just wish that people would be nice. And I feel like fall brings out the mean in people. Nobody is ever nice to me in the fall. If one person, ONE PERSON, would say to me, "Gosh, it's tough to live in a place that you don't enjoy all year 'round, I'm sorry that you feel that way," then I'd feel so much better. I would feel listened to, encouraged, supported and understood. But no. It's always, "How can you hate fall!?!?!?" Like I'm a freak. Or wrong. Or stupid. Or all of those things.
But I hate the fall. And I hate fall-people. So, if you like the fall, that's great. You can like it all you want. And when you express that to me, my response will probably be something like this, "That's great. I'm so glad that we're in a season you love." Because, you know what? It's ok for you to have a different opinion than mine. And I don't need to take away from your joy by telling you about my frustration. It's not the time for that. But, if I tell you that I don't like fall (which I probably won't do unless there's a reason that's really bothering me at the time), then please, just don't be a jerk. Please. Pretty please. Sometimes, you just need to let me have my own opinion.
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