Finally

Those of you who know me might be surprised by my reaction to the Planned Parenthood situation when I first heard about it.  I got onto Facebook (unfortunately, I get most of my news from Facebook) and read a heading that basically said that Planned Parenthood was caught selling baby parts in an undercover video.  I wasn't shocked.  On the contrary, I was relieved.

Finally.

They did it to themselves.

Planned Parenthood did for themselves what those in the Pro-Life movement have been trying to do for decades.  They proved that abortion is horrifying.  They proved that those babies have life.  They proved that abortion is wrong.

Planned Parenthood has done for this country (I can't say the world yet, because genocide happens across the world all the time, even when the validity of the life of the person is not a question) what nobody in the pro-life movement could do.  They, themselves, are the cause of new and intriguing conversations.  They, themselves, are the reason so many have decided to stop funding them, why so many are encouraging our nation as a whole to do so, too.

They are going to revolutionize the pro-life movement.

Although I was relieved, I could not celebrate what happened, because it was so horrible.  I always believed that the only way that people would really see how bad abortion is, would be if something truly appalling happened.  I had no idea it would be this.  Evil can only reign for so long.  It gets greedy, it gets sloppy, it goes too far, it pushes too fast before its victims are truly, fully, on board, and it makes mistakes.  It gets caught.  It always has and it always will.  I knew that the good men and women who fight for the lives of unborn babies could only do so much.  That doesn't mean that I thought that they should give up, it just meant that, something either miraculous or horrible was going to have to take place.  Sadly, it was the horrible.  But sometimes that's just how it has to go.  Sometimes evil destroys itself.

The abortion conversation is far from over, but a softening of hearts has taken place, and I believe that we can run with that.  Even some of the most pro-"choice" people out there have agreed that what Planned Parenthood has done is wrong.  Disgusting.  Horrifying.  Evil.  Those who haven't admitted that are in denial, stubborn/prideful, or actually corrupt.  The first two will eventually come around.  The later, well, we gotta keep those folks in our prayers in a big way.  I'm not saying they won't come around eventually.  Saint Paul can be their patron Saint.  If God could change Paul's heart, He can change theirs. 

As terrible as this whole thing is, it might just be the thing that ends it all.  All those little babies, the uncorrupt, souls who never sinned, never hurt anyone, never caused any harm, all of them are in Heaven praying for this situation like we don't know or understand.  With that many prayers, we can be assured that evil will not win this fight.  Good always wins.  This just might be the tipping off point.

I decided not to use any pictures in this post.  There are so many graphic graphics going around surrounding this issue, sometimes we just need a break.  Celebrate this victory, mourn over those who were lost, rest your eyes from the images you've seen, and then get back out there and fight for what's right.

Love Wins

I have to preface this post by saying that this is really hard for me to do.  Several years ago I posted about same-sex marriage, which revealed a few things about my relationships with some friends.  I learned that the friends who I met through a Catholic Church at a Catholic event with mostly Catholics in attendance, were so against the teachings of the Catholic Church that they were willing to actually tell me that we could no longer be friends because I believe in the Catholic Church's teachings on same-sex marriage (actually, to clarify, I believe in ALL of the teachings of the Catholic Church, which just happens to include these teachings on same-sex marriage).  I was actually un-invited to a very close friend's wedding - a female friend who was marrying a man - simply because I believe and stand for the Church's teachings.  It was a very painful experience for me.  It is because of this that I am hesitant to express my views on this topic.  My views, which are not new or even really insightful.  But, alas, I feel like I should probably say them anyway.  I know what you're thinking...

Ok!  Ok!  I'll stop procrastinating.

I don't hate gay people.  In fact, I don't hate any person.  Although I hate the things that some people do, I tend to be very compassionate towards even the worst people, people who actually do bad things on purpose, with the intention of hurting others, like criminals.  The fact that there are criminals and bad people and people who want to hurt people, means that there is a problem that is bigger than just that particular situation (sorry to be so repetitive, but you're going to see that a lot in this post).  A person is not just born a bad person.  They are made bad by circumstances in their lives.  We, those who live with, nearby, and even far away from criminals still contribute to their choices.  There is a whole society and world to blame for the fact that some people turn into "bad" people. 

Now, somebody is inevitably going to say that because I talked about "bad people" in a post about gay marriage, that I "obviously" think that gay people are bad.  Sorry.  That is not what I think.  It was just an example to show that I really don't believe in the idea of "bad" people at all.  I believe that we are all created "good."  I believe that if you polled every person alive and asked the question, "Is love good?" and "Is love valuable?" and "Would our world be better if everyone just loved one another?" and "Do you like love?" every person would say yes to those questions.  People want love.  They long for love.  They crave it.  What people can't agree upon is the definition of love.  And that is where we have a problem.  People aren't bad.  People don't want evil, sin, injustice, hunger or pain.  I believe in the goodness of people.

My point is, I don't hate gay people.  I don't hate people.  But I do think that sin is sin, no matter the circumstances surrounding it.  Most gay people have the idea that marriage is about love, that it is an expression of love, and that it is therefore, not only a right, but almost a necessity.  The world needs love!  How true that is!  They think, with good intentions, that marriage is about increasing the love in the world.  If that were true, trust me, I'd be on board with same-sex marriage, too.

Uh oh!  I said hell!  To clarify:  I don't think that just because a person is gay or supports gay marriage, that they are going to hell.  Read the next paragraph for an explanation as to why.  This picture was simply meant to bring about the point that good intentions, like I talked about previously, can lead to bad things.

I don't think that gay people are evil.  I don't think that, in general, they are out to hurt anybody intentionally.  Some Catholics act like gay people are out to get them.  That they are just such bad people that they are trying to sell the world to the devil.  Many gay people act like Catholics are out to get them.  Like we are out to ruin their way of life as a power trip.  That we hate them and therefore want to hurt them.  Honestly, I don't think that there are many people in the world who actually want to hurt others.  Frequently, hurt comes as a result of a misunderstanding, which seems to be the case here.  I think that gay-marriage is bad for the world for a number of reasons, but mostly because I believe it is sinful, and anytime anybody sins, it just increases the evil in the world - whether or not the person intends to increase the sin in the world or not.  I just don't think that they see it that way, and so there is a big misunderstanding.  But, I do believe in a loving and merciful God, who, at our moments of death, will show us the ways we have mistakenly and unintentionally hurt others, and He will give us a chance to make amends for those things, to choose Him, and to choose life.  All of us have hurt people without meaning to do so.

See, to me, purity is a big deal.  Self-control is a big deal.  And I practice those things regularly.  If you know me, you know that I believe that purity is important.  I am very careful about protecting my purity, and the purity of those around me.  I, too, feel the burden of loneliness as a result of living a pure lifestyle.  I have felt that loss.  I felt that loss today even.  Being 30, single, and pure is hard, and it feels impossible to ever find someone my age who also holds these values as dearly as I do.  Maybe I never will.  I have grieved over non-existent relationships, events I had to attend alone, embarrassing conversations with people who don't understand why I believe what I believe.  So, when I advocate for purity, know that I am not just telling others to do something that I have not experienced myself.

I know that gay people say that it's not a choice, and I'm not suggesting that it is a choice.  That feeling feelings for someone is not something that you can control.  I'm not saying they can control that part of it.  I am saying that they must control their actions.  Just like I must control my actions when I have feelings for someone who doesn't reciprocate those feelings.

There are a lot of people who are born with circumstances that are outside of their control.  There are people who are born into poverty.  Those people are still expected to live virtuous lives.  There are people who are born with diseases.  Those people are still expected to live virtuous lives.  There are people who are born with parents who are addicted to drugs.  People who have depression.  People who have physical disabilities.  They are still expected to live virtuous lives.  None of these things are things that God created for us.  There is a difference between the way that God created you, and the way that you were born.  God created you good.  He created you perfectly.  He did NOT create us with original sin.  But we are born with it.  Jeremiah 1:5 says

You see?  "Before you were formed, I knew you!"  BEFORE!  God created you perfectly, but original sin is fast, and it gets into our DNA and changes what God started.  Psalm 139:13 says,

God created you and everyone perfectly, but sin caused us harm.  So often people say things like, "You were created with cancer for a reason, to teach others how to suffer with joy."  That's just not true.  You were not created with any defects, pain, or illness.  You were just born that way.  And God used your circumstances to bring Him glory, to bring others joy, to spread love.  God can use you even in the bleakest of circumstances.  Just like Joseph did in Genesis, He can use your bad situation for good.

A person who is born gay might be born that way, but they were not created by God that way.  God did not "give" this to any person.  And yes, they still are expected to live a virtuous life, which includes purity.  It includes chastity.  You cannot make the excuse, "Well, I was born this way" to defend immoral living.  The Bible makes it abundantly clear that homosexual acts are sinful.  They go against God's Divine Design.  They aren't what we are created for.  Marriage is supposed to bring about life through children, and children are an impossibility in the case of gay marriage.  It's as simple as that.

Earlier this summer, when the gay-marriage laws passed in the Supreme Court, everywhere you looked you saw the hashtag "lovewon."  But that wasn't my experience that day.  I didn't see love on social media, in the stores, or anywhere I looked.  I saw people being horrible to one-another.

There are two realities here.  One is that Jesus, aka God, aka Love, conquered 2,000 years ago.  Yes, love already won the war.  But it is our job to fight the battles.  And I'll tell you what, I have seen so many battles where love lost.  Battles where love lost because Catholics were using their words and their actions to needlessly increase pain and suffering among the gay community, and I have seen love lose because gay people and same-sex marriage supporters used their words and actions to needlessly increase the pain and suffering among those who oppose them.  In fact, in both cases, some even appear to take pleasure in increasing the pain and suffering.  It's one thing to cause pain and suffering in order to correct a bad situation (like a doctor must increase pain and suffering in a patient by performing surgery, but that surgery ultimately heals the person and increases their joy later), it's another thing entirely to try to hurt someone for the sake of hurting them, or because it brings you joy.

Catholics, come on!  Be better than you've been.  All of you (note, I include myself in the "all of you" category).  We can correct bad behavior without attacking a person's dignity.  You don't have to be nice, but don't be cruel.  Honestly, we, as a group, have been losing the fight of love for a long time.  We haven't always been compassionate.  We haven't always been willing to listen.  We don't often correct with kindness.  We don't often remember that this is a big deal, and that asking a gay person to live a chaste life is asking a whole lot from them.  Asking them to give up a marriage for your personal beliefs is not an easy thing to do.  We need to understand that we are talking about people's lives here.  And even though we know and believe in the Truth, they don't.  It's hard enough to ask someone who does submit to these teachings to give so much up; it's nearly impossible to ask if they don't believe.  I fear that we are approaching this from the wrong angle. 

And if you are for same-sex marriage, and you use(d) the hashtag "lovewon," well...prove it!  Because, I'll tell you what, if what you as a community promotes as "love" is truly love, I want nothing to do with it.  There was cruelty, hatred, and ugliness in your response to that ruling.  It was not attractive to me at all.

I don't hate gay people.  But I do believe in, submit to, and even promote the teachings of the Catholic Church.  I have hope in the True Love who won 2,000 years ago, and I wish that I will participate in any small battle that advances the army of love on Earth today.

Pro-God

Our culture uses a lot of funny words.  Words are powerful things.  I think back to a quote from Harry Potter, “Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it,” I am amazed at how powerful and true this lesson is for young children to learn.  It is also very important for adults, too.

 

As a kid, I remember learning the lesson that “if you can’t something nice, don’t say nothing at all” (Bambi).

 

While there’s some goodness in that (like, don’t gossip), this is not a biblical concept.  Yes, I know, Bambi was not trying to be biblical, but I think that many Christians have adopted this a value to strive for and live by, and it’s just not entirely accurate.  Scripture, on the other hand, says,

 

“Nice” is not always “Helpful.”  In fact, when people focus on saying “nice” things, they often end up saying lies.  There’s nothing good or holy about lies.

I have spent a lot of time bottling up things that I should have/needed to say, simply because they weren’t “nice.”  And it’s always caused me a lot of frustration and pain.  However, on the contrary, I have also spent a lot of time using mean words.  Cruel words.  Hurtful and harmful words.  That is also not good or holy.  The temptation when trying to fix a problem in our lives is for us to swing from one extreme to another, and that is rarely (if ever) a good solution.

Our society uses funny words.  And the words that people use these days are not only powerful in their meanings and implications, they are dangerous and taken out of context.  And it breaks my heart to see people use their words so irresponsibly.  I, as a devout Catholic, have felt the sting of words such as “homophobic,” “intolerant,” “hateful,” “stupid,” “ignorant,” “old-fashioned,” “irrelevant,” or “evil.”  They throw out the prefix "pro" or "anti" like it's going out of style (but, on the contrary, it is VERY stylish).  People have been making claims that my kind (as in, devout Catholics) are “anti” love, which, in turn, makes them “pro” love?  It’s all very confusing and convoluted.

For several months now, I sat back and just watched people’s reactions to gay marriage, to Planned Parenthood scandals, to lion’s being killed, to confederate flags being flown, to people being martyred for their faith in other parts of the world.  I have been too scared, confused, and careful to respond to these things.  People have had such violent and aggressive reactions to these things, and they use their words, often to express holy ideas, but in unholy ways. 

For the next several weeks, I am going to be addressing some of these issues, both to address the ideas that are, in fact, truthful, but also to help Catholics do a better job of using their words to be holy.

Remember, Jesus is the word of God.  Words are powerful.  Use your words to glorify God, to live love, to be humble and to bless others.  Sometimes those things aren’t nice (although sometimes they are), but they are NEVER mean.