Home. Relief. Joy. Memories. Love. Suffering. Endurance. Pain. Healing. Disappointment. Hope. Faith. Inspiration. How could I possibly pick just one word to describe my journey? All of these words describe it. It is on this last leg of the journey that I finally have some time to reflect on these words and how they have described the pilgrimage of World Youth Day 2013.
I woke up this morning on the plane coming home from Rio. Again, it was a restless sleep on a cold plane. There's just no easy way to sleep on a plane (unless maybe you're in first class, but I don't know anything about that). Everyone was making fun of me because I had slept with an eye mask on, and then put it on the top of my head when they woke us up. It slipped up in the back and made my hair look crazy. I just left it there. I was too tired to care about silly things like what my hair looked like, or taking off my eye mask.
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| Good morning! |
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| We were just being silly here |
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| My "crown" |
We got to spend a little bit of time in the airport in Charlotte, but not much. It was so refreshing to go buy some American snacks with American money, with a cashier who spoke English. Although we were still miles and miles away from Denver, we finally felt like we were home.
We boarded the plane after only a short amount of time, and I had almost no fear or nervousness as we took off. I knew that I was physically exhausted, but I was mentally alert during the entire flight back. I sat next to Richard and Tyler again, but they slept for a lot of the trip back, and I played games on my phone and spent some quiet time just reflecting on our trip.
I feel guilty. I feel like I'm supposed to come back and be crazy excited and have these awesome stories to tell. I feel like I'm supposed to do what everyone else has done to me upon their arrival home from World Youth Days in the past: make me feel like I missed out on something. I feel like I did something wrong.
But the truth is, it was hard. I know that someday I will probably forget how hard it was, and that I will remember the good stuff as being much better than it was, and the bad stuff will probably be remembered as less bad. And that's not wrong. I did have fun. I did grow, and I did change. I am not the same person now that I was when I left. You simply cannot describe the kind of exhaustion, dehydration, and stress that we were under during this pilgrimage, and thank God for that. We were truly in survival mode for nearly all of our time spent in Rio de Janiero. But we got through it.
The question that seems to be on everyone's mind is, would I do it again? Knowing everything that I know now, would I do it again? Well, that's really difficult to say. I know that I am changed. And I did have some good experiences along the way. Really good, actually. Amazing. From Trevor protecting our group all night during the Vigil, to Zach inviting me to their family's camping trip, to ordering pizza with the group of teens, to being so near the Pope, to not quitting when things were difficult. I think, considering all of it, that the answer is yes, I would have done it all again.
Yes, it would have been nice to stay in Rio de Janiero instead of Niteroi so that we didn't have to travel at least an hour and a half to get home each night, or to the event each morning. It would have been nice to not worry so much about our safety. It would have been nice to stay in a hotel and be guaranteed the ability to shower and brush my teeth each day. It would have been nice to sleep in a hotel. It would have been nice to have a transistor radio. It would have been nice to not have rain. But this was never "nice." This was about suffering. I knew that when Richard suggested we go. That's part of the reason why I was so reluctant to say yes in the first place!
Going in, I had a lot of fear. Besides the completely irrational fears (like the plane crashing, and a tsunami), most of my fears were legitimate. My problem was that the only things that I could relate to from past experiences were the bad things, like being extremely tired, not liking the food, or having to use port-a-potties. I had no idea what it was like to be in another country, or to be in such close proximity to millions of people, or to attend a papal mass, or to be on pilgrimage. Although I tried, I really couldn't even imagine what those things were like. It turns out that World Youth Day was exactly what I thought it would be, and nothing like what I thought it would be. Minus the crazy fears, everything that I was afraid of came true. However, I think that I thought that only bad things would happen, and that definitely was not true. So much good came from this experience. I am, after all, cured of my fear of flying almost entirely.
The flight landed and we went one last time as a group onto a train (ok, we had previously been on buses and subways, but the train inside DIA was just like a subway on the interior) to arrive and be greeted by our families. It was a joyful reunion on both sides. We were happy to be home and our families were happy to have us back safely! Mom had a Diet Coke with her for me to have! Several teens greeted us, too!
Mom took me to eat Wendy's, which I had been craving all week! The french fries were fresh, hot, greasy and so so so so so tastey! The frosty was fabulous! The spicy chicken sandwich disappeared almost immediately! Thank God for American food!!!!!
My dog was kind of mad at me, so I didn't get the greeting from him that I expected. He didn't want me to know that he wanted to cuddle with me. But I cuddled with him anyway! I know he liked it.
I got home, did my laundry, chatted with my mom for a while, unpacked and went to bed early. It was hard to get myself to unpack the same day that I came back, exhausted as I was. But I knew that I'd be happy that I did!
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| Bed time! I can't stay up a minute longer! |
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| My dog is very relieved to be home in his (my) bed. |
Things that I once took for granted that I am not grateful for:
Hot shower
Clean drinking water
Sleeping in
Clean laundry
My dog
My bed
Toilets that flush and aren't extremely close to the ground
Diet Coke
America
American napkins
I hope you enjoyed reading about my experiences with World Youth Day. I know that we were covered in prayer while we were away. It's amazing how much love the people back home gave us. I hope to hear other people's World Youth Day stories soon, too!
Obrigada!
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