I have recently seen a lot of posts about things that I, for some reason or another, "must" do. Youtube videos called "Places you must travel to while in your 20's," or "Things every woman must know," or "Foods you must try." As I read through these lists, I find myself feeling a variety of emotions: inspiration to do/be something cool or different, sadness at what I haven't accomplished, jealousy that others get to accomplish those things that I can't (afford to) do, and more sadness that they tell me to do things that I believe are morally wrong (apparently I am "supposed" to carry a condom and Plan B with me at all times!). I feel so down after reading those posts and watching those videos, when I think that the goal from those authors is to get me to feel only inspired and/or accomplished.
They don't even make sense. I mean, so often the list will say, "Have enough confidence to not do what anyone else tells you to do," or "Don't let anyone dictate your life," or "Break the rules." Ok, so if I follow your advice, you're saying that I shouldn't do what YOU tell me to do. But, by not doing what you tell me to do, I AM doing what you tell me to do. You see why that's a conundrum?
I have come to the conclusion that those lists really should be called, "what I should do, because I liked it, and I think that you might like it, too, so maybe I'll inspire you to do something you've always wanted to do or to try something new." I guess I can see why that isn't the title. It's a little cumbersome. It just seems that those authors are really writing those lists for themselves. Who says that I should sky dive in my 20's? Why? I don't want to sky dive. I wouldn't like it, and it'd be a waste of my money, time, worry, stress and adrenaline (ok, YES, I realize that adrenaline is not, like, in short supply, but you get my point). What are the reasons we "must" do these things? Who are you to tell me that? I always want to scream, "Stop 'shoulding' all over me!"
My 29th birthday is rapidly approaching, which means that I have one year left in my 20's. At this point, there is an expectation that I have completed a certain number of things on my check-list of life. Well, instead of going by someone else's standards, I am going to create my own list for myself. If these things don't apply to you, than that's ok, because I don't expect that they will be universal. But here is, "Krissy's List of Life Stuff:"
1. Eat food.
2. Drink water
3. Drink less Diet Coke
4. Sing loudly in your car with every chance you get, but never subject others to that torture
5. Wear your ugly green shorts around the house, but no where else
6. Enjoy the summer
7. Be proud of the fact that you still (and always will) LOVE N'Sync
8. Change your mind about what you like (I used to not like onions, and now I do. I used to not like riding a bike, and now I do. I used to like mayonnaise, and now I don't).
9. Realize that #7 on this list possibly contradicts #8, and be ok with that
10. Keep quoting movies, even if some people think it's weird or annoying
11. Stand up for good grammar, even if some people think it's weird or annoying
12. Remember that sarcasm sometimes hurts people's feelings, and that you're better than that (this is not a sarcastic way of approving sarcasm either. I was being real)
13. Don't ever say, "a whole nother"
14. Keep watching children's movies. They're good for your soul
15. Remember that you do love kids, even though they kind of scare you and you haven't spent much time around kids (younger than junior high aged kids, that is)
16. Don't drive where you can walk
17. Ignore #16 if it's cold. Like, really, really, cold. Or windy. Rain, you can handle, but not the cold.
18. Give actual compliments. People crave positivity. It's amazing what genuine, real, actual kind words can do to a person's heart
19. T-Rex is awesome. Don't forget it, even though you have re-occurring T-Rex nightmares!
20. Sleep appropriate amounts (not too little, but not too much, either)
21. Stop being annoyed so much
22. Go back to the places where bad memories were made. Re-listen to songs that remind you of bad things. Create new memories associated with those things, so they aren't ruined forever (remember, nothing is ever ruined forever)
23. Some people aren't like you, and that's ok. If they tell you that you should only cry one or two tears and then move on, smile, thank them for their advice, and then cry as many dang tears as you need to! But don't tell them that. It's not worth the fight.
24. Some people aren't like you, and that's ok (it's worth putting in here twice)
25. You will probably always worry about what people think of you. You want to be liked. You want to be loved. You want to be accepted. You want them to think well of you because they are important to you. Because you care about them. Because they mean something to you. When you think that someone thinks poorly of you, try to stay calm about it. Be rational. Maybe they don't like you. And maybe it's because of a real flaw in you. You aren't perfect. You can work on your flaws. Maybe they do like you but the crazy version of yourself is rearing. You can stop being crazy. But, as hard as it may be for you, don't let them change the good in you. If you can't stop that, than that person doesn't deserve to be in your life. It'll hurt. It'll be lonely. It'll be sad. Because you care about people. And you care about their opinions. And, despite what may appear to some, it's not easy for you to just kick a person out of your life. But don't let them change the good in you. Don't let them take away your self-esteem. Don't let them make you angry (and therefore, take away your trust, your forgiveness, your patience). Don't let them take away the good in you. And there is good in you.
